My Friend, the Simile

I haven't always been skilled at reading figurative language. I remember having to read a passage by Shakespeare for school. The passage was supposed to be funny, but the joke was soaring way over my head, and upon struggling with the imagery, I eventually just imagined Shakespeare putting his hand on my shoulder, saying, "You had to have been there. But trust me. In the sixteenth century, it was hilarious!" 

If you were ever in school between the ages of 11 and 18, you probably know what a simile is. If not, it's totally okay. Similes and metaphors aren't one of those life things you have to know, like how to properly feed yourself when you become an adult. And you can forget what a simile is and be okay, but you can't really survive off instant noodles alone (as I have learned). Here are some of my favorites, which I have stumbled across over the years:

"John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met."

"The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law Phil. But unlike Phil, this plan just might work."

But similes have the incredible potential to be user-friendly. They're pretty intuitive, and don't have to have anything to do with homework. We use them in casual conversation, probably without realizing it, and unlike other types of figurative language, which pressure the writer to sound utterly brilliant, a simile lends itself well with snarkiness and humor. A great simile is the difference between saying something is creepy, or saying that it's creepy like Tom Cruise laughing. It's your call.

Have any great ones to share?

– Ari