“We are the spark, that will light the fire that will burn the First Order down.”

We went to The Last Jedi at the Chinese theater last night. It’s the first time I’ve been to the Chinese since Pulp Fiction or 12 Monkeys, and I feel no pressing urge to go back any time soon. That area of Hollywood is just gross and crowded, like someone took the worst aspects of Times Square in the 70s and now, put them together, and concentrated them into two awful blocks.

But I digress before I even begin, because of course I do.

I loved The Last Jedi. It’s a little long, it has some humor that felt a little out of place to me, and some of the edits were a little jarring, but I am willing to overlook those flaws because it was just a really fun Star Wars experience. I felt like, if I were a kid today, this movie would be my Star Wars, it would the one I would still be talking about in forty years, the way the original Star Wars (that I refuse to call ‘episode whatever’) is for me today.

You may need a second to parse that, because I did and I wrote it so go ahead. I’ll wait.

Hi. I’m still here. Glad you are, too.

I’m not going to discuss specifics, and I hope you won’t comment on specifics, either, so people who haven’t seen it yet don’t have to worry about spoilers. But here are some thoughts:

I loved that there are so many strong and independent female heroes in Star Wars now. I loved that there are role models for girls the way there have always been for boys, and I love that there are people of color the way white dudes have always been there. I know there’s a type of fan out there who will be pissed about me even mentioning this (keep fucking that chicken, kiddo!) but it’s important in ways those people can’t or won’t understand, and it made me really, really happy.
I loved seeing characters who were so important to me as a kid. I teared up several times, just because it felt so good to see them again.
The battle sequences were amazing. The duels were some of the best lightsaber fights I’ve ever seen.
The Porgs are adorable and fun and didn’t upset or annoy me the way literally everything in that goddamn Jar Jar movie did. I can’t wait to go buy a little Porg plushie.
The themes of resistance and hope and the refusal to give up in the face of overwhelming odds felt incredibly timely, but also timeless. I loved that that message is there for anyone who wants to hear it.
I mentioned that it’s a little long. At almost 3 hours, it felt like the second and third parts of a trilogy that started with The Force Awakens. I don’t think that’s a bad thing, just an observation.
I can’t wait to go see it again. It was in 3D, which I didn’t know before we got into the theater, and I’d like to see it without having to wear smudgy glasses that were impossible to clean. I don’t think it needed to be in 3D, but that could just be my deep-seated aversion to 3D. I’m going to say 3D one more time: 3D (yes, that was two more times. Settle down, Francis.)
It was a delightful surprise to see Captain EO in the movie. I didn’t expect that, and the CG was kind of incredible. that didn’t really happen i just wanted to see if you were paying attention.

Oh, and you probably already know this, but I went in costume:

Live long and suck it.

Live long, and may The Force be with you!