thank you for your kindness
I’ve been reading all the comments so many of you left on my last post, and I wanted to take a moment to thank you for your kindness. It really does mean a lot to me, and it really does make a big difference, to know that I’m not the only creative person who is struggling right now, and has been struggling this entire year. It means so much to me that so many of you who are reading this took a moment to let me know that you’re there, and that you care about what I make.
The Internet in 2017 (at least in my personal experience, which is absolutely affected by my depression) is so flooded by casual cruelty, it is overwhelming and suffocating and exhausting. Thank you for showing and reminding me that good and kind people are in this world. Thank you for taking the time and making the effort to reach out to me. You didn’t have to do that, and I’m very grateful that you did.
I went to my brain doctor a few days ago, and talked with him about how much I’ve been struggling. I told him how bad I’ve been feeling, and how hard it’s been for me to do any of the creative things that I’ve always loved to do. He told me that a lot of his patients are having the most challenging year they’ve had in a long time, so it’s not just me. We talked about some different things we could do, and decided to change up my meds a little bit. The adjustment has been tough for the last few days, but I woke up this morning feeling hopeful and … well, not joyful or even happy, but at least I didn’t feel bad. I know that doesn’t sound like much of an improvement, but it really is. It’s going to take another ten to fourteen days for my brain to fully adjust, but I’m hopeful and optimistic that this is going to help me get back to feeling like a person, instead of a bag of failure and sadness.
newest »
I know I am not someone you really know, but I am proud of you.
If you did nothing but the occasional blog post about this issue and continued to be so open about your own struggle, your life would be a huge success. I'm happy that you have such a great support system and are so self aware - and brave about it. I also know that at some points there is nothing anyone can say that you can accept because your own inner voice is shouting so loud that you are a failure. My wish for you for the holidays is that you can continue to hear our voices and be more well every day. Hang in there - we're with you!
"I woke up this morning feeling hopeful", the most beautiful words I read all week. Here's to continued improvement! <3
Sometimes in life we need a few bad days to keep the good ones in perspective.
Loved the shirt you wore to Star Wars premiere. That made my week a little happier.
Todd wrote: "Loved the shirt you wore to Star Wars premiere. That made my week a little happier."I have to agree with Todd. Your "costume" for the Star Wars premiere has made me a little happier this week also. Thank you for your enlighten humor!
We see you. We're with you. And, many of us are going through similar experiences.
Regaining hope and optimism is no small thing. Well done. I'm glad to see you're experiencing more moments of brightness.
Thank you, Wil, for talking about your experiences so openly. Seeing others win the little battles reminds me that I can too. It can be so hard to explain the frustration of living with a brain that just doesn't do what you want it to do (when you want it to do it), and I admire the way you so often find the perfect words to describe things. Glad to hear the med change seems to be helping. Thinking happy thoughts your way :)
Here's to hoping that each day from now on is a little less "bad" than the day proceeding it. Also, thank you for narrating Ready Player One. It's really made my drives in to work more pleasant.
Thank you for being so open. Gives us all hope.
You are one of my favorite essayists. It hurts my heart to know that you struggle so. I have a quote from one of your books pinned to my bulletin board, because it gives me the strength to keep going when I feel like giving up. May you discover an abundance of resources that get you through the dark days, and may the coming year hold more hope than bleakness.
Stay strong those chemicals in your brain can really mess with you. Best of luck in finding the right treatment for optimal happiness
Glad to hear. Big thumbs up for the positive thinking !
Not feeling bad is a great thing; it might be the first step to feeljng better on the rosd to feeling good.
Keep up the good fight -- there are a lot more good and even great people than what appears to be the mass of horrid trolls (online and irl). Big hugs to you and if we were friends irl instead of internet acquaintances, I'd come over and bake shit with you, bcuz baking helps a lot of things. ;)
Keep fighting, Will! It can't rain forever.
Not feeling bad is a big deal, especially after days when that was all that was felt. Thank you for continuing to share with us!
In my experience with family members who have suffered from depression and other mental disorders, every day that is not bad, is good. Judge how you're doing by the "ups" not the "downs." It isn't possible for someone who is not suffering to understand the struggle and easy to point out all the good things in your life, but I'm told it's such an internal struggle that that doesn't help. Best Wishes for your uphill climb. I hope you reach the top.
"Not bad?" That's pretty good. Nobody likes those people who feel "fantastic!" Something is seriously wrong with those people.
Important thing to remember, you are not alone.
Depression, as well as the other mood disorders, take a terrible toil on the human psyche.Continue to rail against it....
Jeff McIntosh
Thank you so much for posting this. I've also been having an awful year when it comes to being creative. I haven't done any art work in months. I've thought about but thats about it. Last night I went to a paint party, it was silly, but It was a like a lightening bolt! I haven't felt like this in a long long time. You're not alone. Today I went for a walk in the park taking pictures of trees and later I'm going to do some sketches. I'm an abstract artist but I have been feeling a pull lately to draw landscapes and still lives. Lets hope that the new year brings us all some creativity and joy back into our lives. Thank you, Wil!
I know I don’t really know you as a mother of 2 special need children I say keep up the good work thinking of you HUGS
When I commented on your previous post, I was having a solid good phase after a long struggle. Then after receiving some bad news, I fell into the bad place again. And now coming back to your blog and reading this post is helping me feel better - hopeful - and reminding me of the little things that helped me achieve my good days.Let us keep going just like this...helping one another up every time we fall. We're doing good.
