Enter Trisha, Exit Cat From Bag

I should have known Trisha would show up again, sooner or later. God save me from my own characters.

"Shove over will you? Your laptop's digging into me."

"Go sit somewhere else then. I'm trying to work on a new blog post."

"Uh uh. I'll sit right here because we need to have a chat. You can write it down and there's your blog post. You were only going to talk about world-building in fiction anyway. Boring."

"You want me to take dictation from you?"

"What? Just write down everything we say. Fuck me Freddy but you're uptight. When was the last time you got laid?"

"Excuse me?"

"You heard. It's good for relieving tension, you know."

Maybe, but it's none of your business. What would you say if I asked you when you last got laid?"

"I'd say yesterday, thank you very much and it was out of this world good. Hey, I never thanked you for giving me a girlfriend who, you know, knows her way around…"

"Ah. Well. My pleasure, I guess."

No, actually – my pleasure. Ha, look at that, little writer girl's blushing. Come on, tell Aunty Trisha then, when was the last time? I know it crosses your mind every now and then– you think I didn't see what you wrote to Alexandra Wolfe yesterday about her sexy little story she's putting in the next Kissed By Venus mag? Ha! You really are blushing."

"I'm not a little writer girl and I'm not blushing. Change the subject."

"Fine. I want my own Facebook Page."

"What?"

"Facebook Page. I want. My own one."

"You can't have a Facebook Page. I've already got one."

"Yeah, you've already got one and it's boring as all shit too. You hardly ever update it and you don't even have enough likes to get a proper address for it. You never even remember to tell people you have a fricking page."

"Well, maybe so, but it doesn't mean you should have one."

"Why not? Bet mine would be a lot more popular than yours. Me and Michaela, we'd update it often enough and you know we would have lots of weird, scary and funny sh – stuff to say. Hell, you're even writing us a new book. About time too, I'd say. I was getting bored just hanging around listening to you all day."

"The new book's coming along quite well, isn't it?"

"Yeah, though why'd you have to go get us embroiled in a whole lot of weird crapola, I don't know. What happened to the holiday on a tropical island I asked for?"

"You can have your holiday after you get your act together and help Michaela solve this new mystery."

"Fine. Jeeze, you know I will anyway. Hey, I like having scenes to myself this time, by the way. The last books  were fun, you know, but it's nice having some of this one from my viewpoint. Makes me feel appreciated."

"Some of it's from Caro's too."

"Yeah. Talking about Caro, I did not see that one coming. Wow, you coulda hit me upside the head and I wouldn't have been any more shocked."

"It was a bit of a surprise, wasn't it?"

"Hell yeah. Complicates everything though, doesn't it? Why'd you have to make it like that? With you know, her…"

"Quiet. No letting the cat out of the bag."

"Cats don't like being in bags, you know. In fact, it's inhumane."

"Imaginary cat. Imaginary bag. Cat stays in bag."

"Fine, you're the boss lady. When's Orange Moon coming out? I like that book. I ain't going to say I actually cried at the end, but I might have almost cried. And if I wasn't doing the happy ever after thing with my own gorgeous woman, I might seriously think about book-hopping. Alice is cute, but Hope, wow – that's what I say."

"Good grief, Trisha. It should be out first week of November."

"Cool. Now, can I have my Facebook Page?"

"No."

"Aw c'mon. Why not?"

"You need photographs. Where would we get photographs of you?"

"Dunno. Maybe one of our readers would like to pose as me? Who knows?"

"The answer's still no. You know I don't use Facebook much."

"Hardly fair. I'd do all the work. Tell you what – type Facebook here, do that magic thing you do to make it a link. That's right. Now, maybe a few readers will click on that, like your stupid page, and tell you to let me have my own. What's a girl gotta do around here to get what they want? I'm more than just a pretty face, you know."

Trisha? You're something all right and that something's definitely more than just a pretty face.

Filed under: Writing Journal