I’m Too Skinny For This Blog.

What I am about to share is my own experience. I’d also bet my life, and my afterlife, that it has been yours too.

Last Saturday night, while blasting the Salt-N-Pepa station on Pandora, I took one last look in the mirror before heading to a party. My hair was the right amount of tousled. My slip dress and satin smoking jacket were on point. My black Vans howled, “whimsical comfort” at the super moon. I was red lipstick ready and eager to Shoop-oop-a-doop.

Upon arrival, I was ushered onto the...