Parenting & Technology: It's How You Use it That Counts
From one era to another, the newest technology has struck panic in the hearts of parents because ultimately, wehope to have the greatest influence on our children in raising them to be good, kind, balanced human beings.
Every generation has its parenting fears. A century ago, young people who read too much were considered worrisome; having your head in a book might keep you in dreamland, causing a break from reality. Then the radio came along and parents feared it would distract children from reading, the very thing they had worried about prior. Television, at first, was a family affair with scheduled programs that moved dinner to trays in front of the tv. But when it ran all the time, parents were concerned about children sitting too close, damaging their eyesight and lying stagnant for hours on end.Here’s the truth. Technology is not going anywhere. In fact, it’s a juggernaut that advances daily. Information is everywhere. How can you control the information your child receives? Frankly, you can’t. But you can put some advisories in place to teach about very real scenarios young brains would not have considered. And don’t forget, this era has enabled a phenomenal amount of good information, available at the touch of a fingertip.Consider this:-Statistically, tv shows like Sesame Street actually better prepare a child for entering kindergarten than those who have never watched.-Stanford University research has shown that video games with story problems actually increase math aptitudes in teens.
-Tech alone doesn’t increase violence in kids. Multiple risk factors do that: substance abuse, hostile home environment, mental health, etc. Violence has always existed in at-risk populations. However, you can oversee which games are played in your home. That is your right as a parent.-Similarly, the obesity epidemic is a multi pronged problem. Don’t blame it on tech alone. Advertising, nutrition and an emphasis on physical activity all play a more significant role on health.-Telecommunting means that many parents now have more time with their families than they did at the office. Flexible schedules allow a shared workload between partners or alternatively, the ability for single parents to be present for their kids.
I can attest to the fact that an outright ban on media means kids will invariably find another way. Don’t let your child use a search engine on their phone? They can easily do that at school, the library or with a friend. Forbid certain apps? They’ll get them and hide them because they are likely savvier than you; especially if everyone around them has access. Instead, how about voicing your concerns and letting them voice theirs?As a Parent:-Find a compromise that allows them to connect with friends. Your child is not going to get abducted by playing a trivia game with pals in middle school if you teach them proper protocol about who they fraternize with online.-Teach them to make usernames and not give out private information.-Limit gaming to a certain block of the day when homework and other responsibilities are done, for example 4-6pm.-Studies show screen time interferes with healthy sleep patterns so wrap it up before they should be getting ready for bed. Phones off at night so they can actually sleep without being interrupted.-Try a tech/exercise bargain. For each hour of tech time, they must do physical activity. My son rides his bike through the trails in our neighbourhood to earn his gaming time. In winter, he swims indoors or walks.-Designate phone free times. Ours is the dinner table. We chat and talk about the day. Sure, they fight me on this sometimes but they can go without funny memes for half an hour. Etiquette still matters and conversing with people does, too.-Articulate there are times when phones are not appropriate like ceremonies or formal services. We had a week-long family reunion where my Dad banned phones during the day for all the kids and grandkids. Amazingly, everyone complied!-Be clear about the legal consequences of certain behaviours like cyber bullying, nude pics and incriminating behaviour they think will disappear. It won’t. If they’re on the receiving end of this, let them know they can come to you without any fear or “I told you so.” My son was once threatened through text, unprovoked. He took his phone to the office and the staff involved the police who issued the offender a strict warning.You will connect better with your kids through their interests than yours. Play games with them, watch videos with them, suggest tech breaks and get out and do something different. My teens and I have a group chat and we add to it all day. If you try to be judge and jury of everything online, you will lose. So teach them to be wise and have fun.
Every generation has its parenting fears. A century ago, young people who read too much were considered worrisome; having your head in a book might keep you in dreamland, causing a break from reality. Then the radio came along and parents feared it would distract children from reading, the very thing they had worried about prior. Television, at first, was a family affair with scheduled programs that moved dinner to trays in front of the tv. But when it ran all the time, parents were concerned about children sitting too close, damaging their eyesight and lying stagnant for hours on end.Here’s the truth. Technology is not going anywhere. In fact, it’s a juggernaut that advances daily. Information is everywhere. How can you control the information your child receives? Frankly, you can’t. But you can put some advisories in place to teach about very real scenarios young brains would not have considered. And don’t forget, this era has enabled a phenomenal amount of good information, available at the touch of a fingertip.Consider this:-Statistically, tv shows like Sesame Street actually better prepare a child for entering kindergarten than those who have never watched.-Stanford University research has shown that video games with story problems actually increase math aptitudes in teens.-Tech alone doesn’t increase violence in kids. Multiple risk factors do that: substance abuse, hostile home environment, mental health, etc. Violence has always existed in at-risk populations. However, you can oversee which games are played in your home. That is your right as a parent.-Similarly, the obesity epidemic is a multi pronged problem. Don’t blame it on tech alone. Advertising, nutrition and an emphasis on physical activity all play a more significant role on health.-Telecommunting means that many parents now have more time with their families than they did at the office. Flexible schedules allow a shared workload between partners or alternatively, the ability for single parents to be present for their kids.I can attest to the fact that an outright ban on media means kids will invariably find another way. Don’t let your child use a search engine on their phone? They can easily do that at school, the library or with a friend. Forbid certain apps? They’ll get them and hide them because they are likely savvier than you; especially if everyone around them has access. Instead, how about voicing your concerns and letting them voice theirs?As a Parent:-Find a compromise that allows them to connect with friends. Your child is not going to get abducted by playing a trivia game with pals in middle school if you teach them proper protocol about who they fraternize with online.-Teach them to make usernames and not give out private information.-Limit gaming to a certain block of the day when homework and other responsibilities are done, for example 4-6pm.-Studies show screen time interferes with healthy sleep patterns so wrap it up before they should be getting ready for bed. Phones off at night so they can actually sleep without being interrupted.-Try a tech/exercise bargain. For each hour of tech time, they must do physical activity. My son rides his bike through the trails in our neighbourhood to earn his gaming time. In winter, he swims indoors or walks.-Designate phone free times. Ours is the dinner table. We chat and talk about the day. Sure, they fight me on this sometimes but they can go without funny memes for half an hour. Etiquette still matters and conversing with people does, too.-Articulate there are times when phones are not appropriate like ceremonies or formal services. We had a week-long family reunion where my Dad banned phones during the day for all the kids and grandkids. Amazingly, everyone complied!-Be clear about the legal consequences of certain behaviours like cyber bullying, nude pics and incriminating behaviour they think will disappear. It won’t. If they’re on the receiving end of this, let them know they can come to you without any fear or “I told you so.” My son was once threatened through text, unprovoked. He took his phone to the office and the staff involved the police who issued the offender a strict warning.You will connect better with your kids through their interests than yours. Play games with them, watch videos with them, suggest tech breaks and get out and do something different. My teens and I have a group chat and we add to it all day. If you try to be judge and jury of everything online, you will lose. So teach them to be wise and have fun.
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