I Embrace Multiculturalism

I discovered a case of hardcore multiculturalism at my house. My new washing machine was made by Samsung, a South Korean company. Well, at the end of the first wash, Sam Sung—he did indeed, and it wasn’t Arirang. He piped the tune of Schubert’s German lied Die Forelle.

Pleasant, but weird. I would just as soon expect to turn over my Persian rug and find the Declaration of Independence inscribed on the back.

At least the song has a watery theme. Die Forelle means The Trout. The song tells the story of a trout swimming in a clear little brook. Unfortunately, due to a wily fisherman, the poor trout in the brook gets the hook.

Could there be a warning there? I hope that the wily Samsung salespeople don’t mean I will live to regret my purchase.

All of this DOES NOT lead me to my next subject, but I’m going there anyway. This is called topic multiculturalism.

The company that pays me the mineral rights (read oil & gas) for my property went bankrupt. They used to issue me a modest yearly check. The new company that took over issues a monthly check. Well, the first windfall I got was $1.11. That created a huge problem. I had to figure out what to do with all the cash. To that end, I created a list of options:

1) Invest it in mutual funds.

2) Pad my savings account.

3) Buy 1/3 of a cup of fancy coffee.

4) Buy 78% of a cup of gas station coffee.

5) Change it into 111 pennies so I feel rich.

6) Leave the 111 pennies as a tip for an unfriendly waiter.

7) Stuff the 111 pennies in my jeans in the hope that if I’ve lost enough weight recently, my pants will fall down.

8) Refrain from doing no. 7 in public.

9) Start a Christmas Savings Account for the year 2030.

10) Plan that dream vacation to . . . the backyard.

All I can say is money doesn’t buy happiness, but when in comes in packages like this, it really stimulates one's creative juices.

And as far as multiculturalism goes, well, it’s also an incentive to be inventive. Surely, the world is pining for more musical appliances, like a Swedish microwave that sings La Cucaracha. I’ll leave that invention to others. In the meantime, I’ll enjoy my talented washing machine and stick with my specialty—topic multiculturalism, a.k.a. colossal non-sequiturs.