Suicidal Ideations

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*Note: I wrote this a while back and am not currently feeling suicidal, but I thought it might be interesting to share this poem as it does illustrate a real mental struggle I have dealt with on and off for many years.

Suicidal Ideations

If I only had a dollar

for every time

I have looked down

from a great height,

shook a full bottle of pills,

held my breath under water,

or inhaled exhaust fumes

while thinking

I could actually do it,

I could end it all –

I would have more

than enough

to pay for all the

therapy sessions

I obviously need.