Sample Sunday October 2 Love Thy Neighbor

Today's sample is a fun Halloween short.  The entire story is posted here but it is available for free, for now, on Smashwords.  The link is to the right.


Katy Ross and Missy NorthpresentThe 2011 Halloween Costume PartyThe Most Killer Party of the YearOctober 318493 Silver Dollar Lane8p.m.No children allowed

"You will come, won't you JoAnn?" asked Katy, JoAnn's neighbor. JoAnn looked at Katy and was reminded again of that woman in those 70's Vidal Sassoon commercials. The tall, lean woman with the long silky black hair. The hair JoAnn had always dreamed of having instead of her own stringy blond. On top of that Katy's skin was so perfect it seemed unreal. JoAnn really wanted to ask what kind of makeup she used but was afraid the response would be none. And it just wasn't fair to be so effortlessly perfect."Yes, you will, right?" said Missy, JoAnn's deceivingly southern belle-like other neighbor. Missy was, well, Missy. Physically she was easy to describe, of course. She was quite petite, not an inch over five feet and not a pound over one hundred, with waves of thick brown hair and large hazel eyes. But to describe her personality, that was difficult. At first, she seemed the picture of a southern lady, all soft spoken and sweet. But two weeks ago JoAnn heard her tell Sam, who lives around the corner, that if his dog poops on her yard one more time, she would cut him. And from the way he scrambled off, he seemed to believe her. Maybe it was just because she was holding a freshly sharpened pair of yard trimmers, or maybe it was because she just seemed quite serious. There was no doubt she knew how to use garden tools, pruning away at the bushes like they had offended her by daring to grow out of sync. No, there was definitely something more to Missy, thought JoAnn."We are so sorry for the late notice but, we forgot you didn't live here when the invitations were mailed.""But I've lived here for two months. How early do these invitations go out?" JoAnn asked. JoAnn and Jay had barely opened the first box when Missy and Katy had showed up at their door. Katy lived to the right and Missy to the left. They brought a basket of treats, asked a few general questions, then left with a promise of getting together when they were more settled. After watching them walking back and forth between their respective homes nearly every day JoAnn bit the bullet and invited them over. But after that morning of coffee and gossip they'd hardly spoken to her, despite JoAnn's attempts to get together. She'd replayed the conversation in her head for weeks, trying to figure out what had gone wrong. I mean sure, it was painfully obvious they didn't have much in common; Katy ground her own flour for goodness sake! Who did that? But JoAnn was a live and let live kind of person. They were neighbor's after all. They should be looking out for each other."This is the party of the year! We send these invitations out four months ahead of time.""Though it's hardly necessary. No one would miss one of our parties," Missy said, laughing. Katy put her arm around her and they laughed together."You don't have plans, do you?" Katy asked."Nothing you can't change, anyway, right? I mean this is the neighborhood party. You can't miss the neighborhood party!""No. No, we don't have any plans. I just...it's going to be hard to come up with a costume on such short notice. I mean, today is Halloween.""Oh, you can come up with something. I'm sure it will be fine," Katy said, patting JoAnn's hand."Well, we have to go. Lots of preparing to do. See you tonight." And off they went, arm in arm, not an easy feat considering the height difference.
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"Look at this," JoAnn said, handing Jay the invitation. "Katy and Missy caught me outside. They apologized for the late notice. Said we weren't here when the invitations were mailed.""Weren't here? Well, how early did they send the invitations?""Four months. It's the party of the year," JoAnn said in a poor imitation of Missy's light southern accent.Jay laughed. "Sounds like a big deal." He looked right at her. "Sounds just like what you've been waiting for.""Yes, it does," Jo Ann smiled. "I am surprised though. They've been giving me the cold shoulder since we had coffee that morning.""Ever figure out what that was about?" Jay said."Nope," JoAnn said shrugging."Well, what does it matter anyway? They're a little...""Little what?""Intense if you ask me. I was out washing the car the other day and they both came up asking me all kinds of questions.""Questions?""Yeah, like how did I like the neighborhood? Was my job working out? Did I think we would be staying here very long?"JoAnn laughed. "They're just trying to make small talk.""It wasn't the questions. It was their tone. I don't know. They're just...""Intimidating? Yeah, they come on pretty strong. The only time Katy speaks to me is to give me recipes, even though I told her I don't like to cook. And Missy gave me the name of her yard guy.""So?""Three times.""Oh. Maybe she's forgetful.""Well, at least they invited us. This will give us a better chance to all get acquainted. But what about costumes? The party's tonight. Oh, I'll bring some of those TGIF appetizers. You know, they sell them in the frozen section now."
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"JoAnn, what an interesting costume," Missy said. "Katy! Katy! Come over here."Despite the crowd, Katy had no trouble hearing Missy and came right over. "Well, isn't that...interesting," Katy said."That's just what I thought," Missy said."I just threw it together," JoAnn said, laughing."Yes, I see. Now what are you exactly?" Missy asked, giving JoAnn the once over."I'm Jay. See the pocket protector, the glasses. I mean, I'm not really Jay, but an exaggeration. You know, the stereotypical computer geek. Though what does it say that he had all this stuff just laying around?" JoAnn laughed again.Katy and Missy exchanged a look."But, wow, you guys look amazing," JoAnn said. "Where did you find such elaborate costumes?"They were both wearing witch costumes. Not like the bad witch in the Wizard of Oz either. No, No. These were a fabulous display of black velvet lined with silk, red for Katy and purple for Missy; tall pointed hats with delicate lace draped down to their shoulders. And makeup that only enhanced their natural beauty; no green face with strategically placed warts for them. "Find?" Katy said."We made them, of course. Like we do every year," Missy said."Sounds like a lot of work. You know the price has come way down on costumes lately. You can pick them up for like twenty bucks now. Plastic, easy to clean.""Twenty..." Katy said. Missy grabbed her hand and squeezed. They did that a lot. "Yes, yes. But we enjoy the process. Now where is Jay?""He's coming," JoAnn said looking back toward the door. "Oh, there he is.""Where is his costume?""He's dressed as Jay also," JoAnn said laughing. "Sorry, costumes just aren't his thing.""Not his thing!" Katy said."And what are these?" Missy said quickly, changing the subject again."Oh," JoAnn said holding out the tray she'd brought, "they are those little TGIF quesadillas. Have you seen them before? In the freezer section. I just love them. Friday dinner has never been so easy, huh!""Oh my God-""You didn't have to do that JoAnn," Missy said, cutting Katy off mid sentence, "we have all the food taken care of already.""Oh, it was no trouble. Really," JoAnn said holding out the tray. "I know you guys make food all the time, what with an organic food business. You know I didn't realize you two were the owner's of Cassie's All Natural Pies until just two weeks ago."Well, thank you. I'll just put it over here," Missy said taking the tray and placing it in the butler's pantry."How about a drink?" Katy said."The adult magic words," JoAnn said. "I'd love one." She took the skeleton hand cup from Katy and tried a sip."Mmm what is this? Kool-Aid and vodka? No, tequila?"Katy choked on her drink. "Are you making a joke? This is a blackberry thyme margarita. The thyme is from my garden and I hand crush the blackberries. It's all natural.""Well it's good," JoAnn said, taking another drink. "Maybe a little sugar would sweeten it up a bit. Oh, I see Eliza's here. I'm going to go say hello.""Kool-Aid...really..." JoAnn heard Katy say under her breath to Missy."Don't worry. It will all be over soon," Missy replied softly.
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"Why don't you use my bathroom upstairs," Katy said to JoAnn, when she noticed her waiting outside the main floor bathroom door."That's OK. I can wait.""But you've never seen my house, have you?""No, I haven't.""Well, then I insist. Top of the stairs, first room on the right. Feel free to give yourself a tour while you're up there.""Thanks Katy," JoAnn beamed. JoAnn went upstairs and used the spotlessly clean master bathroom, then decided to give herself that tour, but when she left the bathroom Katy and Missy were waiting for her."Hi Katy, Missy. Are you going to give me the tour?""Give her the tour?" Missy said to Katy. "No, JoAnn. We are not here to give you a tour.""Why do you have a knife Missy? Witches use broomsticks. I will say, it's a good one. Looks almost real." "Almost real! This is a custom made Attillio Morroti polished steel black lip pearl interframe linerlock folding dagger you idiot! I brought it especially for you.""For me. OK, kind of an odd gift but...thanks.""Is she for real?" Missy said looking at Katy. "I told you. She hasn't got a clue.""Uh, if I may," JoAnn said. "What are you guys talking about? I feel a bit like I'm being insulted here.""The knife isn't a gift. It's to kill you," Missy said."Kill me? Why? Why would you want to kill me?" JoAnn asked, taking a step back."You just don't belong here," Katy replied."Don't belong? What are you talking about?""What am I talking about? You see," she said, turning to Missy, "she doesn't even know." She turned back to JoAnn. "You eat processed foods! Frozen, processed foods.""And your yard!" Missy said. "My husband is beside himself. Your yard is killing him.""What's wrong with my yard?""You don't rake your leaves.""We get them with the mower," JoAnn said."And your grass is too long.""But, we mow every week.""Exactly. Once a week! It's just not enough. And you have weeds...in the grass." Missy spat the last part out like it left a bad taste in her mouth."We've been trying to help you," Katy said. "I've been giving you my recipes. The easy ones, like salmon cake sandwiches with watercress and miso dressing.""Yeah that sounds like an easy one," JoAnn said.Katy continued as if she hadn't heard JoAnn. "I offered to sell you my old wheat grinder. But you won't even try." She turned to Missy, "she won't even try.""I know sweetie. I know.""So you see, we don't have a choice. We just can't have your kind here. Right next door.""Is this a Halloween prank? You guys are kidding me, right? Some kind of welcome to the neighborhood thing.""Oh no. This is no prank. We find Halloween is the perfect time to take out the trash, so to speak.""Perfect time...you've done this before?""Oh yes. Every time an undesirable moves in and refuses to come around. You remember that one guy, Tim?" Katy said."Tom.""Yes, Tom. He dumped his oil down the drain, used aerosol sprays on his motorcycle," Katy said with a little shiver."How...how do you know that?""Because we spy on new people. It's so easy to set up a few cameras during open houses," Missy said. "Oh, don't give me that look. We have a neighborhood to protect.""But, what about the bodies?""The Halloween party is such a great opportunity to hide the mess. I wish we could compost them but they would have to be dried first and that just takes too much time. But we figured out a solution, didn't we?" She smiled."Turned out to be win win really," Missy said."Did you know plants get their nutrients from the soil? Of course you do. Even a child knows that. And, with a little research, we discovered all the wonderful nutrients released when a body decomposes. So we just distribute the bodies through out the garden. Really great for the plants.""Distribute? What..uh..what does that mean?" JoAnn asked. "We can't very well bury a body whole. A big space like that. It would look weird. So, just a little chopping here and there...Have you seen the rest of Missy's knife collection? It's really to die for.""Our garden never looked so good." They both laughed."It's like our secret ingredient," Katy said. "All natural.""You two are crazy.""We're not crazy. Crazy people get caught." They laughed again."How many times? How many people?" JoAnn said."Oh let's see. You will make five?" Missy said."Yes, I believe that's right.""OK, that should be enough guys," JoAnn said."Enough what?""Enough confession.""Confession? What are you talking about," Missy asked, but her words were drowned out by the six SWAT team members who stormed the room, guns carefully aimed at Missy and Katy."What is going on here?" demanded Missy."You two are under arrest," JoAnn said, pulling a badge from her inside pocket. "It's Detective JoAnn Casin. Did you ladies really believe no one would notice four people missing from this neighborhood in five years?""But we heard you. You and your husband Jay. All your conversations in your house...""Your cameras were easy to plant, yes, but they were also easy to find. This whole thing was for your benefit. I actually hate processed foods. I prefer a nice organic salad with a vinaigrette dressing. And these clothes...I can't wait to get back into my tailored Anne Klein suits and Loibouton heels.""Stop it. You're lying!" Katy yelled."Am I?" JoAnn smiled."Don't say anything Katy," Missy said as cuffs were put on both their wrists. Jay walked in as Katy and Missy were being read their rights and led out of the room. "What did you say all that stuff for? You wouldn't eat a salad if your life depended on it. And heels, are you kidding me? I think the entire precinct would shut down if you walked in with heels on," Jay, JoAnn's partner said."I know," JoAnn laughed. "That was just for fun.""It's a shame though. They make some damn fine pie," he said, taking a bite before JoAnn could stop him."You weren't listening in, were you?""No, I was mingling. Making sure you had plenty of time to get them to talk," he said taking another bite. "Why?""No reason," JoAnn didn't have the heart to tell him what made those pies so delicious.The End
If you like this story, you may enjoy The Devil's Game.  Available on Amazon, Barnes and Noble, and Smashwords.