Reading your writing
Writers have a love-hate relationship with their work, or so I have read. I do myself. One day I would love what I have written, and on another day I can’t believe that I ever thought I could actually consider myself an author. The first four years I began writing, I finished three rather long novels. Since then I have slowed down considerably. The problem was time. I used to write during my lunch hour at work every day, I got a lot done during those years. But, after me and 20 fellow workers were gotten rid of from where we were employed, I got out of the writing habit. I also took up other things that made it difficult to write, painting museum exhibits for one. And I got to thinking that my writing was garbage. Of course, I never had the time to actively promote my work and my first published novel suffered from that in particular, which fed my negative belief. So, after working at other things and hardly writing anything over the last three years, I thought I would revisit my first couple of novels and sit down and actually read them again. Three years is a pretty good chunk of time and I should be able to view my work with fairly fresh eyes. It has been interesting, I have been enjoying my work, I feel that the writing is not all that bad. I am only partway through the third novel but I feel that I am doing quite well now. Still, this is not a good test, a writer just simply cannot be dispassionate about his own work. I am actually enjoying the story and looking forward to the rest of it. So how does one evaluate his (or hers) own work honestly? The answer is that you can’t, your own ego is smashed together with your creative thought process and you are liar if you think you can be objective. At least I can’t be objective. Writing comes from various parts of your experiences, history, habits and concerns about the universe. It is based on people who you have known, how you have been treated by them and how you treat others. It can be influenced by what you like to eat, how you get excited by and react to a myriad of stimuli from books to movies and TV, plays and concerts or just the annoying fellow-worker who likes to hum stupid songs. It is part of your whole being and you cannot step outside that and look back in, unless you are a split personality. I suppose you just have to trust yourself and realize that not everyone is going to click with your point of view. Still it would be nice to sell a few books somewhere along the line outside of your own family. (My cover illustration and redesign for my first science fiction novel).
