The bigger they are the harder they fall...

Radial head fracture: emedicine.medscape.com
Just for the record... While proceeding steadily and straight towards an assignation in a university establishment, I was only vaguely aware of the young students larking around just ahead and to my right. Just at the wrong moment one of those youngsters with his back towards me thrust his foot outwards in response, I believe (although it is all a bit of a blur) to a violent push from one of his friends. The young outstretched foot landed precisely where my old front foot was rapidly heading, and I fell lengthways until my outstretched right arm hit the solid floor with a horrible slapping crack. The youngster was decent enough to say, "Sorry, are you alright?", to which I replied, "I will be," and walked away not wishing to make a fuss. I headed back towards my car in the car park, feeling that a sit down was required, but after about twenty yards I nearly vomited with pain, and somewhat collapsed in a sweating faint. Perhaps I am a wimp. Within the hour, having been transported in a university car, I was having x-rays blasted through me, then was soon looking at an image much like the one above. This was when, with me standing again, the very small nurse gazed upwards and told me I had "a long way to fall." Unable to drive with an immobile arm, I walked about three miles from the hospital to the suitable bus-stop, perused the timetable, saw that I had over an hour to wait, and so wandered across the road to a conveniently located pub. The left hand was unaccustomed to raising beer to mouth, but together, we managed... several pints. And thus, life began to seem not so bad again. Now, nearly two weeks later, the arm is still significantly sore, especially when I awaken with it having sneaked its way into an undesirable position. "Whose fault was it?" everybody asks. "You could make a claim". And the institution involved has had to file an incident form, and interview me by email, and, etc... etc... Apparently nothing is ever allowed to just be an accident nowadays. It was, however, an unfortunate accident, that is all, I generously decided. Anyway, I don't even know the identity of the bloody stupid, larking, idiotic, fools whose blame it was, and they have been understandably unwilling to make themselves known. Incident over (as soon as the bone and soft tissues mend). My dear lady and my lovely adult children, with touching tenderness, just commented, "That's him started the falling down then." My lady's major and most immediate concern was that I would be able to learn the left-handed arse-wipe and would manage to wash for myself the delicate bits of the body that most need washed in the welcoming hot bath I retreated into, for about an hour. Dear reader, I managed, although I did need some help to get out.