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I just came across your page because your book popped up in my feed since a Goodreads friend read it.
I'm a newbie and excited about everything, so I do respond to as many reviews as I can (when I can). I would never accost anyone for hating something I wrote, of course, but I do like for people to know I care that they are reading =)
I'm sure as time goes on a "this sucks" review will come up or one of those let-me-pick-apart-a-story-just-because-I-can reviews, and I won't respond (because chances are, they won't read my work again anyway, and I'd rather concentrate on the people I've managed to rope in already) but a thoughtful critique, good or bad, will warrant a "thank you for taking the time to read and rate/review."

I wonder though if not responding to negative reviews and only responding to positive ones, will fuel the fire of those who did not like the book.
I won't mention the name of the author or the book, but I came across a very polarized book. There were very strong review for and against the book. I tried to read a little of each, to get a good sense of the work. But one negative review had over fifty comments trashing the author. Some of the comments mentioned how the author had responded to negative reviews. It maybe there is no clear right answer.

I read one story about how an author responded to a somewhat negative review by just spewing really unnecessary things. People got upset and started rating the book negatively just because.
I just don't see how that author you're talking about and the one I mentioned would allow themselves to get roped into that situation. If someone writes an angry, scathing review, they're already pissed at the author. And anonymity only feeds it. Seems like it's better to just walk away.
You brought up a really interesting topic though for sure. Something I will think about going forward.
As you said, when my review is good and I loved the book then I it doesn't bother me at all. But when I give a more critical review, I just feel bad because I don't know how the author took what I had to say. Even if they say they appreciate the feedback, I still feel bad.
I try not to let the knowledge of knowing the author will read my review influence my future reviews, but I would have to say it does a little. Not a lot, but sometimes I it might slightly.
In my opinion, it could go either way. I'd always appreciate an author writing back, but I don't think they need to do it all the time. Maybe just on reviews where it's written really well or the author likes all the feeback they're getting?
It seems like a really hard call to make to me, because I think everyone is different.
Personally, I'd love to talk to authors all the time about their stories if I could, so I'd more then likely enjoy the comments.
Sorry I know this ramble probably doesn't help much but I'm glad you took the time to think about this kind of thing!