The Curiously Stunted, Incomprehensibly Disjointed, Perfectly Inadequate Adventures of Nicholas Cornelius Holloway – Episode 87

His parents had taken him to a rally when he was small. He had been struck by the colorful buttons, foam hats, posters on sticks, and a slogan.

“No one can have peas until everyone has peas.”

Nothing adults said made much sense, so in that regard the remark was unremarkable. But people had cheered, and he didn’t much care for peas. This force, he decided, must be countered. Logically, if he disrupted anyone’s peas, he would disrupt everyone’s.

Decades later, the experience had buried itself i...