Been There, Texted That

Landline, what's that? Oh, that one device you used prior to the explosion of cell phones and wireless service.

Back Then

As technology has continued to evolve, the text messaging era has developed into its own form of communication. As I recall, when I first began texting the messages were very short and spread out. I remember looking down at my Nokia and taking time to study the numbers as I would use them to spell out words. None of my recipients really cared if they received a response or what I had to say…

As texting has become more and more popular, I thought it was so silly to have private conversations with someone sitting right next to you. Looking back, I see the electronic exchange of information was simply replacing generic note-passing.

Now

 Nowadays, texting has completely revolutionized the way we communicate.

In personal relationships, you may not realize it, but you go through "texting rhythms" when you're having a conversation. It's similar to calling someone. You call, engage in conversation, they call you back, continue the conversation, hang up, repeat.

Or, if you're upset or not wanting encourage that relationship to move forward you shut off the communication barriers. They call and leave a message, you don't respond, they call again, you ignore it, etc. You're simply sending the message, "I don't want to talk to you, or I'm mad at you."

Well, now instead of calling, that communication channel has been replaced with texting. You may have an old friend you want to reconnect with and you find their number and ideally begin texting and pick up where you two left off… (High text frequency = close relationship).

But what about that ex-boyfriend that continues to send you a surprise text every few months. Without realizing it, he is saying more than just "hey," especially with his word choice and grammar. Do you ignore him? Do you reply? How often and what do you say?

Believe it or not, even if you choose to reply the next day, you're sending the message, "I'm too busy to reply right away, but I will still take time to talk to you." Or if that ship has completely sailed, you don't recognize the number because it's not saved in your address book, nor do you care to reply because secretly, you know who it is.

This same rule applies to friends, acquaintances, and family members. Mark my words, the people you are close with, your texting conversations will be long, detailed, and full of excitement or updates. The people you're mad at or trying to eliminate from your life, will be 2-5 message texts with short answers… (Low text frequency = Acquaintance/Distant Relationship).

Sometimes, you may send the wrong message even if you're not meaning to. For example, John sends you a text about his new job, and while you're happy for him, you're driving and you aren't in a position to text him back. Then you go into your meeting, next the gym, carry on with your day, and before you know it, you've forgotten to text John back. While you didn't mean to, he may have taken it as, "so much for sharing my news with him/her."

We all lead busy lives, but be sure that what whatever communication channel you choose to connect with people, you're responsive and fostering those relationships that mean the most. Even if it's a simple, "Good for you!" or "Can't talk at the moment, but so happy to hear!" At least whoever it is you're talking to knows you're not ignoring them, or too busy.

Showing you care and actually caring are two separate things… How are you showing you care and what are you doing to make sure you're communicating the right message?

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