Forestall's Third Edition
To Forestall the Darkness: A Novel of Ancient Rome
Viktor posted a review of To Forestall the Darkness a couple years ago on Amazon. I responded to it today (11/16/2017):
Viktor,
It’s not my habit as an author to comment on a reader’s review. Everyone is entitled to an opinion and entitled to express it. But in your case I will comment because you spurred me on to do something that innately I knew that I needed to do.
You wrote, “Also, the narrative is sluggish and repetitive in places and the manuscript generally suffers from inadequate editing.” Spot-on right, guy!
It has taken me a while to return to Forestall because I was the principal support in a loved one’s declining years, and then the principal caregiver in the hospice months. And then, of course, the grief that follows. But what you wrote years ago has been percolating all this time.
What I’ve done in the THIRD EDITION (Nov 2017) is I’ve excised the boring parts.
At one point a character says to Titus that he analyses things, is a thinker and a dreamer. I excised 10,000 words of his analyses. It wasn't really needed for the story and became deadwood to the reader. And I also found I repeated prior information. That's gone, too. The novel is now tighter, but longer in page count because of the improved typography.
What I couldn't change, is what you refer to here: “I was disgusted by some of the explicit violence and obscenity, however realistic the scenes may be.”
Yes, it gets gritty. It would not “do” in a Victorian parlor.
The castration and cauterization scene is horrible. The slave purchase is horrible. The primeval pagan rite is horrible. The murder of the lepers is horrible. The explicit sexual talk among the Lombards is horrible.
They all must stay, Viktor.
It was a different time, a different world. They had different sensibilities and a more visceral experience of life. But we today share with that different world our common humanity and those horrible strains you object to still lurk within us.
The novel juxtaposes the gritty and the noble. Each of us shares that admixture. We are all shades of gray.
Viktor, I thank you for your considered review. Your feedback helped me grow as an artist. I’m indebted.
Vann
Viktor posted a review of To Forestall the Darkness a couple years ago on Amazon. I responded to it today (11/16/2017):
Viktor,
It’s not my habit as an author to comment on a reader’s review. Everyone is entitled to an opinion and entitled to express it. But in your case I will comment because you spurred me on to do something that innately I knew that I needed to do.
You wrote, “Also, the narrative is sluggish and repetitive in places and the manuscript generally suffers from inadequate editing.” Spot-on right, guy!
It has taken me a while to return to Forestall because I was the principal support in a loved one’s declining years, and then the principal caregiver in the hospice months. And then, of course, the grief that follows. But what you wrote years ago has been percolating all this time.
What I’ve done in the THIRD EDITION (Nov 2017) is I’ve excised the boring parts.
At one point a character says to Titus that he analyses things, is a thinker and a dreamer. I excised 10,000 words of his analyses. It wasn't really needed for the story and became deadwood to the reader. And I also found I repeated prior information. That's gone, too. The novel is now tighter, but longer in page count because of the improved typography.
What I couldn't change, is what you refer to here: “I was disgusted by some of the explicit violence and obscenity, however realistic the scenes may be.”
Yes, it gets gritty. It would not “do” in a Victorian parlor.
The castration and cauterization scene is horrible. The slave purchase is horrible. The primeval pagan rite is horrible. The murder of the lepers is horrible. The explicit sexual talk among the Lombards is horrible.
They all must stay, Viktor.
It was a different time, a different world. They had different sensibilities and a more visceral experience of life. But we today share with that different world our common humanity and those horrible strains you object to still lurk within us.
The novel juxtaposes the gritty and the noble. Each of us shares that admixture. We are all shades of gray.
Viktor, I thank you for your considered review. Your feedback helped me grow as an artist. I’m indebted.
Vann
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The book jacket
Wherein nuts and bolts, extraneous to the art, find a shelf
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