The Biblical Way To Handle Conflict

If there's anything we can be assured of in this life, it's this:
Conflict is gonna happen. Most of the time these conflicts are
compounded by a lack of communication, and this is just as much a
problem for believers as it is unbelievers.



Thankfully, the Bible
is not only God's Word, it's also the best way to live. Within scripture
are practical words of advice on how to relate to God and to others.
Consider the following words spoken by Jesus during His Sermon on the
Mount.



If a fellow believer hurts you, go and tell him—work it
out between the two of you. If he listens, you've made a friend. If he
won't listen, take one or two others along so that the presence of
witnesses will keep things honest, and try again. If he still won't
listen, tell the church. If he won't listen to the church, you'll have
to start over from scratch, confront him with the need for repentance,
and offer again God's forgiving love. ~Matthew 18:15-17 (MSG)



How much more practical and too-the-point can you get?


Go to the other person involved in the conflict and try to straighten it out between the two of you.
If that doesn't work, take some witnesses to "keep things honest."
If all else fails, take it before the church.
In the midst of it all, keep loving the other person and continue to hold them accountable.

It's
been my experience that problems--not handled in the practical way
Jesus commands--take on a life of their own. They turn into "he
said"/"she said" gossip sessions, until the truth lies buried beneath a
pile of rumors and lies. If there is a breakdown in any part of the
process, this will happen, so we would be wise to ask ourselves the
following questions:


Did I try to straighten this out in a one-on-one session with the other person?
Have I done my part to get reliable witnesses involved with both parties of the conflict?
As a last resort, have I brought it to the attention of the church?
Have I done my best to be loving while keeping the other party accountable for their actions?

Another
point I'd like address is what we do when we hear information about a
conflict among other believers, because our response can make the
problem even worse. First, don't gossip about it. Secondly, don't take
sides without allowing both sides to explain their position. To do so
means that we make assumptions and jump to conclusions without the
complete story. In a nutshell, don't judge!



"Judge not, that
you be not judged. For with the judgment you pronounce you will be
judged, and with the measure you use it will be measured to you. Why do
you see the speck that is in your brother's eye, but do not notice the
log that is in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, 'Let me
take the speck out of your eye,' when there is the log in your own eye?
You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you
will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother's eye." ~Matthew
7:1-5



Father, our earthly conflicts must surely
grieve You. Forgive me, Lord, for the times I've tried to handle
difficult conflicts in a worldly way. For the times I've been judgmental
without knowing all the facts. Thank You for Your Word. It truly is a
light for my feet and a lamp for my path. Give me the courage to live
out Your Word in a way that pleases You, especially in times of
conflict. Amen.