I lied

 I lied to him, probably the first time in my life that I love someone else.
So that he could quit all his hopes, move on and live a free away from my memories..
..or maybe I because I felt I'm sinking when I met him after years.
I felt the pain I've gone through for so long.
I felt like something is drowning inside me when he was sitting in front of me and smiling.
He wanted to get it all back what he left a long time ago but it cannot just happen.
Time changes people, I was changed, I stopped loving, I couldn't love anymore- anyone, not even him, when he tried coming back.
I lied to him that I'm in love with someone.
How can I love someone else when I have lost the feeling of love?
When I don't love myself anymore..
I just wanted to be free, from his Memories.
I couldn't think of any other way..
So, I lied.