Dialogue

Good morning and welcome to wwwblogs. Today we’re talking about dialogue. We’ll discuss what to do and what not to do when our characters are speaking.
We’ve already discussed dumping information in large paragraphs that isn’t relevant to the current s scene and leading the reader by the nose with stage directions. Today, we’re going to look at information stuffed into dialogue that’s often stiff and unreal.
One thing readers love about books is dialogue that’s natural and fits the situation. They enjoy the engagement between characters and watching a scene evolve as if they’re standing on the sidelines watching everything happen.
What a reader doesn’t like is getting a ton of unnecessary information in the dialogue that can be better handled in narrative. For example…
“Did you see Kat this morning?” Sissy asked. “She’s such a skank. As if it’s not horrible that she has hair that’s seven different colors: red, green, black, blue, orange, turquoise, and yellow, she is wearing the worst outfit in the world!”
“I know,” Jessie said. “Who would ever put on a gray and gold plaid skirt with a red and green stripped shirt? To make everything look clunkier, she had to come to school in that stupid black sweater with her breakfast spilled all over it and those dumb biker boots.”
“Totally!” Sissy exclaimed. “And did you see how her house looks since the fire. How can anyone live in a place where the garage and one of the bedrooms have been destroyed? I have to walk past that place every day on my way to the bus. It’s been six months since the fire and they haven’t done anythingto fix it. It’s like this huge ugly scar that’s making the whole neighborhood look like trashy people live there.”
“What about her parents?” Jessie asked. “They are sooooo old and they act like they’re teenagers. I’d be embarrassed so bad if my parents showed up at school in biker leathers with long hair nearly down to their butts. How can anyone let their parents act so dumb?”
“SHHHH!” Sissy giggled. “There she is.” Her voice dropped to a dramatic whisper. “Do you think she knows we are talking about her?”
Okay, we learned a lot about Kat. Far too much for someone to be discussing. In this instance, most of this dialogue should be shown from the main character’s viewpoint, while the narrative centers around less descriptive vignettes about her life.
Sissy meandered along the hallway with her best friend, Jessie. They only had a few minutes to make it homeroom. A door opened at the far end of the hall and Kat Stevens stepped in. Sissy hissed in a breath. She immediately checked out her outfit, to ensure it was as great as it had been when she put it on earlier.
Neat khaki slacks, a tunic that came down to mid-thigh, and sneakers. Check. Pretty much the same thing everyone else at school wore. No way was she going to stand out from the crowd.
“Is she really wearing that?” Jessie whispered. “It’s awful.”
Sissy had to agree. In her opinion, Kat stood out enough with all the streaks in her hair. The colors alone clashed badly: red, green, black, blue, orange, turquoise, and yellow. But that gray and gold plaid skirt with a red and green striped shirt was horrible. Add in her food stained sweater and a pair of biker boots and Kat was headed for fashion hell.
Of course, no one would say anything to Kat about her faux pas. Her family had the worst luck lately. Six months ago, their garage caught fire and burned her parents’ bedroom above it. Their Harley Davidson motorcycles were destroyed and then the insurance refused to pay, so they had to hire a lawyer. Kat was whispered about by everyone in school.
“Wish we could help her fix her outfit,” Sissy said, a bit sadly. Her parents always lectured her about being kind to others. “She’d look a lot better if the blouse wasn’t striped, or the skirt matched the red and green.”
One way to ensure your dialogue is not dumping information is to spend time in crowded places and listen to how people talk. When setting up dialogues in your books, remember those moments. They will serve you well in your writing.


About K.C. Sprayberry
Born and raised in Southern California’s Los Angeles basin, K.C. Sprayberry spent years traveling the United States and Europe while in the Air Force before settling in northwest Georgia. A new empty nester with her husband of more than twenty years, she spends her days figuring out new ways to torment her characters and coming up with innovative tales from the South and beyond.
She’s a multi-genre author who comes up with ideas from the strangest sources. Those who know her best will tell you that nothing is safe or sacred when she is observing real life. In fact, she considers any situation she witnesses as fair game when plotting a new story.
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