Alternate opening to The Usurper
I decided to go back through The Usurper to fix minor errors, and while I was doing that, I decided to fix the opening, which a lot of people have complained about. Here is the first part of Chapter 1. I'm open to suggestions if this doesn't work, so feel free to suggest some changes:
She knew this day was coming.
As Ann's 10 year old son was raising the pistol to shoot her, she saw the absolute hate in his eyes, something that a 10 year should never have experienced, or even know. While she was not surprised that she was being disposed of, and really kind of wondered what took them so long, she was shocked that they were using her precious son to do it. She glanced at his handlers standing behind him, who had smug looks on their faces, and seemed to be pleased with their indoctrination of her son. She knew this was a cliché, but her life leading up to this point began flashing before her eyes, and she began reflecting, in the brief time she had left, on why she took this path on the road to her destruction.
Twelve years earlier….
Ann O'Hara had run away from her home in Nebraska a month earlier, and now found herself in New York City. She ran away because her father was verbally abusive, and treated her, along with her mother, like they were garbage. He had come back from Korea 10 years earlier very different from the way he was when had left, he was like a whole other person, and he absolutely refused to talk about what had happened to him there. She was only 17, but felt that she was old enough to take care of herself without being told what to do, as her friends said, it was all about freedom from the oppressive machinations of The Man. So, now she was in the Big Apple, with any number of infinite possibilities open to her.
She was taking in the sights and sounds of the city when she noticed that she had walked past the Soviet Union's embassy. The Soviets had fascinated her, because they were all about order and making everyone equal, and she thought it highly unfair that people like her psychotic father were allowed to go out into public. She stood there for a while, immersed in thought, when a man that was going inside the building, stopped, and asked, "Are you ok?"
Ann shook her head, realizing how long she must've been standing there looking like she might be weird or something. She looked at the man, who looked very dour, and said, "Oh! I'm sorry for standing out here so long. I'll move along."
"You don't need to be sorry. You seemed like you thought about going inside. Is there anything we can help you with?"
"You work for the Soviets?" she asked, wide-eyed.
"Yes, I do. I'm Agent Jones, which is my codename, and if you want to know why, that's classified. Would you like to come inside?"
"Really? You'd let me do that?"
"Of course. Are you interested in getting to know Soviet philosophy?"
"Sure. I'm interested in hearing your sales pitch. Lead the way."
Ann was led through the building, which had pictures of Josef Stalin and Vladimir Lenin posted on the walls everywhere. The two walked into Agent Jones' office where a TV had been turned on to air the meeting at the United Nations, where Soviet Premier Nikita Khrushchev was scheduled to speak. Ann pointed to the TV, asked, "Do I get to meet him?"
"You can only if you're dedicated to our cause, willing to live in the Soviet Union, and help us to bring down the United States from within rather than militarily?"
"I would have no problem with that. Can I work with the KGB?"
"Not right away, you would have to go through some extensive training if they find you worthy. We have some potential plans that call for young agents who will be important to the future takedown of the West." then he saw that Khrushchev was beginning to speak, so he told Ann that they should listen to what the Soviet Premier had to say.
"We will bury you!" bellowed Soviet Premier Nikita Khrushchev, as he slammed his fist on the hardwood table.
The Americans, and other westerners who were assembled in the room at the United Nations in New York, glanced at each other, and rolled their eyes, which was clearly visible on the TV broadcast. President John F. Kennedy, the President of the United States took a deep breath, and asked, "Are you threatening war?"
"You think I'm threatening war? I can honestly say that I'm not, Mr. Kennedy. What I mean, is that your working class will bury you. History is on our side, you'll see. The Soviet Union won't even have to commit troops to defeat you; your poor and downtrodden will do it for us. I predict that in 50 years, the United States of America will cease to exist. Your people may not even see it coming; it'll just happen one day when no one is expecting it. Poof! The great and foolish American experiment finally comes to an end. Now, let's discuss why we're all here."
Jones and Ann watched the rest of the broadcast, and when it was done, they discussed all the particulars about why Ann wanted to defect. When Jones was thoroughly convinced of Ann's sincerity, or at least, Ann was convinced she was sincere, he decided that both of them would wait for the Premier to come back to the Embassy, and Jones would introduce Ann to him.
Two hours later, Khrushchev and his entourage arrived back at the Embassy. Jones took Ann to meet the Premier, and when they were face to face, he eagerly shook the Premier's hand, and said, "Good day, comrade. I want to introduce you to Ann O'Hara; she is one of the people we've been looking for to put into our program."
The Soviet Premier saw that the girl was a petite brunette, fairly young looking, and dressed in what the Americans referred to as hippy clothes. Khrushchev knew from various reports he received from the KGB, that these kids were useful idiots, and just rebelling against their parents and society. He didn't really know if Ann was rebelling, but they would find out, and useful idiots would be helpful to the Soviets. Khrushchev knew those types would help bring down the United States with enough training and brainwashing.
Khrushchev walked over to the girl, shook her hand, and introduced himself, "Hello, young lady. I am Soviet Premier Nikita Khrushchev. Are you completely dedicated to the cause and willing to do what we want to achieve our goals of burying the United States?"
Oh, yes, Comrade Premier. I'm looking forward to advancing the cause by any means necessary, if it comes to that."
"Ann, that's the kind of attitude we are looking for from recruits. Before we tell you exactly what we want you to do, the KGB will require a full immersion in all things Marx, Lenin, and even Stalin, which includes getting you to Moscow. I'll let my people take care of that problem though." Khrushchev glanced at his watch. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I have other places to be. My people will take good care of you. Good day." remarked the Soviet Premier, and then he walked away.
