We try to skip a bar tab… and go down in flames…

Many years ago, there was an old bar across the street from our newspaper office. Grungy place. Cheap beer, greasy burgers, jukebox. Tables so wobbly you’d have to put a brick under one leg.

Place was fabulous.

One night, bunch of us are over there telling war stories. The clock winds. Finally, there’s nobody left but me and another guy. Alex Beasley… good storyteller.

We figure our boss is still working late. So we get the bartender to call the newsroom, ask for Jim Toner.

He dials the phone.

Is this Toner? he says. Coupla guys were in here. Drank up half the place. Then they left, said to call you for the tab.

Hangs up. Turns back to us.

It’s not gonna fly, guys.

Why? What did he say?

He said: “Tell Ludden and Beasley it won’t work.”