dullorama:winterinthetardis:SO APPARENTLY MY ENTIRE LIFE IS A...

dullorama:

winterinthetardis:

SO APPARENTLY MY ENTIRE LIFE IS A LIE HOW HAS YOUR GUYS’ NIGHT BEEN

(Image is of a series of tweets written in all caps by a Twitter user named Nilli @sharknoises. Image text transcribed below.)
MY ENTIRE LIFE IS A LIE
I WAS JUST EATING DINNER WITH MY PARENTS AND MY MOM ASKS IN FARSI FOR ME TO PASS HER THE REMOTE CONTROL. I WAS LIKE “…WHAT?”
MOM: *POINTS TO TONGS* [IN FARSI] GIVE ME THE REMOTE CONTROL.
ME:…..YOU MEAN THE TONGS?
MOM: YEAH, PLEASE PASS IT OVER.

AFTER I PASS IT OVER I’M LIKE “WHY DID YOU CALL THE TONGS THE [PERSIAN WORD FOR REMOTE CONTROL]? & SHE JUST VERY NONCHALANTLY BLOWS MY MIND
MOM: [WORD] IS JUST A FILLER WORD, YOU KNOW. I COULDN’T REMEMBER THE WORD FOR TONGS, SO I SAID [WORD].
ME: ………WHAT. NO. WHAT?

FOR 28 YEARS OF MY LIFE, THE WORD IN FARSI THAT I THOUGHT MEANT REMOTE FOTROL WAS ACTUALLY JUST THE FARSI EQUIVALENT OF “THINGAMABOB.” WTF.
I JUST SAT THERE, WITH MY MOUTH HANGING OPEN, FOR A SOLID MINUTE. MY MOM WAS LIKE “WAIT… YOU THOUGHT THAT WAS THE ACTUAL WORD FOR REMOTE?”
YES, MOTHER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I DID THINK THAT!!!!!!!!!!! I LEARNED FARSI FROM YOU AND DID!! YOU GUYS CALL IT THAT WORD!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ME: WELL WHAT’S THE ACTUAL WORD FOR REMOTE CONTROL THEN?
MOM: UM… I DON’T KNOW? *SAYS IN ENGLISH WITH A PERSIAN ACCENT* “CON-TROL”?
AND MY MOM IS JUST LIKE “WHY IS THIS SUCH A BIG DEAL? LIKE SHE DIDN’T JUST SHAKE THE FOUNDATION OF MY ENTIRE WORLD!!!!

“WHY IS THIS SUCH A BIG DEAL??” I LEARNED FARSI FROM YOU GUYS!! HOW MUCH OF MY KNOWLEDGE OF FARSI IS JUST FAKE WORDS THAT Y'ALL MADE UP?????

ME: SO IF I WAS AT SOMEONE’S HOUSE AND I ASK WHERE THE [WORD] IS, THEY’D JUST LOOK AT ME LIKE WTF ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
MOM: [LAUGHS AT ME]
ME: WHAT ELSE CAN I NOT TRUST??? WHAT ELSE IS FAKE???? ARE Y'ALL EVEN MY REAL PARENTS????
MOM: [KEEPS LAUGHING AT ME]

MY LIFE IS A LIE!!!!!

(End of tweets.)