A Little Adding To Create Padding!

The cat will help you out today. I will make more sense of things at my bay. A cat helping humans at his sea. That is rather nice of me. Or maybe it is not with the additions brought.

You need to get a grip.
Of an electrified wire.
Feel free to give lip,
If you hair catches fire.

Go piss up a rope.
And let it hit your eye.
Nearby have some soap,
For that's not tears you cry.

No comments from the peanut gallery,
Or I'll give you an allergic reaction.
Then I'll take away your salary,
And leave you in traction.

Were you born on a raft,
Or just in the riverbank?
Either way, you're quite daft.
No go walk the plank.

If I must be Frank,
Or Tom, Dick or Harry,
You smell rather rank,
And you are rather scary.

Damned if you do, damned if you don't,
Or maybe you're just damned.
Take it back I won't,
Even if the door was slammed.

A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush,
Or three in a tree or four in your rafter.
Or maybe five spurting crap from their tush.
That would provide no laughter.

Go pound sand up your ass,
Then stick in a giant plug.
That would hurt in mass.
The sand may even contain a bug.

The road to hell is paved with good intentions,
And the prying eyes of nosey Parkers.
The last gets no mentions,
Watch out for three headed barkers.

In for a penny, in for a pound,
But won't go in just any.
Do you think I a hound,
That goes around to many?

Hmmm, they may be a bit wordy and not stick. Some though are far more threatening and/or ick. Any additions you add to sayings that are used over and over again? I'm sure many have heard a ton at their den. But have you changed or maybe rearranged? I could go on forever with this pass. You humans provide a lot of material to my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.