The Journey: Waffling & Wavering

waffling = vacillating = being evasive

wavering = faltering = whiffle waffle/ing

I’ve kinda been in two headspaces lately—one where I’m waffling (sticking my head in the sand and hoping, because I can’t see anything, it’s not there) and one where I’m faltering and fumbling, and whiffle-waffling (like being on a yesteryear see-saw).   <LOL>

Being a caregiver is tough . . . even tougher when you’re holding down a crazy-busy full-time job.  In the last week, I’ve been told three different things by three different people:

you’re giving too much of yourself

you’ve got too much on your plate for one person

you’re gonna crack.

The last one was oddly [darkly] amusing . . . because I already have—twice!  <LMAO> 

In truth, I know I can continue doing this—working full-time while serving as caregiver—much as I’m not (in all honesty) overly ecstatic about it.  It’s been a long, long, long time that I’ve had my own life and space, but even then it was limited.  Those apron strings simply never got cut, for some unfathomable reason, but who can argue with God?  If it’s in His plan, it’s in His plan. 

This family (my mom, dad, me) have always been incredibly strong, kinda like the mighty Sequoia.  Many a time we’ve fallen, tumbled and toppled, but being ever-resilient, we've always managed to “re-stand” and re-stand tall.

This week, yeah, it’s been a challenge, but it’s over and a new week beginneth.  Who knows what it will bring?  A [big] lottery win?  The possibility of arranging a trip “home” (to Hawaii)?   A fresh(er) outlook?  A new friend?

Good things do happen.  Maybe even to me.   <LOL>   I shall keep the faith, even during my wiffle-waffling, wavering moments.