Burdens Laid Bare
It’s been over a month since The Smiling Man Conspiracy released. I’m proud of the book I’ve written, but I can’t help being somewhat disheartened by the lack of response and critique. I’d expected to get a few reviews following the free promotion, but alas there was nothing.
My heart is not saddened solely for this reason. There is, I think, a connection to the Lord’s powerful message in my work. Let me say this: I am not ashamed of the Gospel of Jesus Christ. I do not consider myself a person with multiple identities. I am an author, yet I am Christian. I am a son, yet I am Christian. I am a creative mind, yet I am Christian.
I cannot separate myself from myself. I cannot divide myself into one who worships Christ on one hand and writes books on the other. These are not two persons but one and the same. Therefore, I do not distinguish between who I am in Christ and who I am as an author of fiction. Because of this, my evangelistic posts and the message of my Lord and Savior are of utmost importance and cannot be pushed aside.
So, naturally, His word and His design overflow into my other works. Whereas The Shadow Over Lone Oak was mainly written prior to my rebirth, its sequel was fashioned by a renewed mind. As such, it speaks to the Truth of Jesus Christ.
On the surface, The Smiling Man Conspiracy is about government cover-ups, mad science, grotesque monstrosities, and danger around every corner. But that’s merely the plot of the novel. It is not its essence, not what makes it compelling to read and not what is the cornerstone of its creation.
At the heart of this novel is the burden of guilt. Llewyn Finch is a guilty man. He feels responsible for events that occurred in The Shadow Over Lone Oak. He can’t sleep well at night. Darkness threatens to consume him. When the shadow of his past love reenters his life, the weight of his sin takes its toll. He soon buckles under the pressure. He reaches his lowest point.
I’m about to share with you a selection of pages from the novel. It obviously contains spoilers. If you haven’t yet read either book and still wish to remain uninformed until that time, do not read past this point. But I think it is paramount that those who are in need of hope understand the nature of what Llewyn has gone through and what follows.
*SPOILERS AHEAD*
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(p. 134-136, The Smiling Man Conspiracy)
Tangible, encompassing darkness closed in on Finch, who closed his eyes again and waited. He pictured tendrils of pulsing dark puncturing and encasing his body like barbed wire. The dead hand of his sin reached out to throttle him.
A scent, somehow both mundane and combative butted into the darkness. It was at once flowery and strong, tender yet unyielding to the outer blackness. Although he could not see it, he knew its color must be a bright orange or red.
The scent became noise, full of hope and love and as vocal as a chattering songbird. Her voice rejuvenated the air in his lungs and he felt his strength, his own willpower return. He could fight against the forces that had come to claim and his soul.
“Hatred stirs up conflicts, but love covers all offenses,” said another voice that was at once singular yet a chorus.
Simple and profound, the words soothed him. The darkness started retreating, quelled by the steadfast Truth.
“Just as I have loved you, you must also love one another.”
Again this voice, new, old, and eternal, had spoken the Truth. And the darkness could not stand to be in the presence and reality of Truth.
“Love is from God. God is love.”
The poison of the darkness which brings death quivered and shrank from the dose of Truth which brings life.
“Everyone who is of the truth listens to My voice.”
“I’m listening,” said Finch, willing and eager and convinced. “I hear you.”
“You must be born again.”
“Lord, forgive me. I once knew You but refused You. I sought You but could not see You. I squandered my heritage and wallowed in despair. I dwelled in darkness instead of light and could not forgive others or myself. But You are the Way, the Truth, and the Life.”
Now the voice, the golden light of Truth, encircled and cradled him. He wept tears of joy as his great sorrow departed from him alongside the darkness.
“Have courage, son, your sins are forgiven.”
He awoke from the dream. The pain in his arm returned but the stain on his being had been removed. Willow loomed over him.
As a child, Finch had believed in Truth. As an adult, he learned and believed in many truths.
Now Llewyn Finch was again a child. And his Father rejoiced.
*SPOILERS END*
Why have I shared with you that which is the most important part of the novel? Because I think this passage stands on its own and speaks of the Gospel Truth. Before He came into my life, I was lost, adrift in a sea of chaos and misunderstanding. But God’s Word does not return void. When I read Scripture and heard His voice throughout the pages, I came to know Him. Like Llewyn, the harrowing darkness of this life nearly consumed me and my being. Yet, He chose me so that I would choose Him. That’s His Love.
So I wrote this book. I made Llewyn’s journey similar to my own. Because it is a reflection of Truth. When He was about to be crucified, what did Pontius Pilate ask Jesus of Nazareth?
“‘What is truth?’ said Pilate.” (John 18:38)
Jesus had already given him the answer – the same answer Llewyn receives in the passage above: “Everyone who is of the truth listens to My voice.” (John 18:37)
What did Jesus come into the world to do? He came to save us, not condemn us. On him, on that cross, our burdens were laid bare. Christ took the just punishment for our sins and offered to us the Way to Salvation.
This is the Truth no matter where or who you are. If you’re rich or poor, arrogant or lustful, self-righteous or unrighteous, or even, as Llewyn Finch proclaims himself, a “harbinger of death” – the Truth of Jesus Christ will set you free. No one who calls on the name of the Lord, who believes on Him, is turned away.
It doesn’t matter if you were part of a motorcycle gang. God wants you to seek Him. It doesn’t matter if you’re addicted to pornography. God wants you to seek Him. It doesn’t matter if you believe you’re responsible for countless deaths and tragedy. God wants you to seek Him.
Christ, our Great Advocate, has already paid the price for our abominable sins. In Him, we have eternal life and the joy of His love.
Please, whatever you’re struggling with, whatever hope you think is lost, learn and know the Truth in Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior, believe on Him, and you shall be with Him in Paradise.
The Book of John is all about the Love of God and the Truth of Jesus. It’s no surprise, then, that the most quoted part of Scripture is this:
“For God loved the world in this way: He gave His One and Only Son, so that everyone who believes in Him will not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send His Son into the world that He might condemn the world, but that the world might be saved through Him.” (John 3:16-17)
There’s a reason I open the first chapter (following the prologue) of The Smiling Man Conspiracy with this verse. It is God’s Truth that anyone can find redemption in Him. Whatever you do or have done, know that He is there, waiting, for you to turn your sorrows and your sin over to Him.
If you don’t know the Truth, if you haven’t heard the Word, now is the time to step up and make that decision to follow Him. The Christian life is not an easy one, but it’s the only one worth living.
May God be with you and may we never forget or forego His Promise.
