How to Write a Book Review (featuring Dracula)

Writing a review for a book is quite possibly the biggest thing readers can do to help their favorite authors. However, reviews like:

★★★★★
THIS BOOK WAS AMAXING!!!1!

and

★☆☆☆☆
Don't waste your time. This book was trash.

don't really help anyone. In fact, most people ignore these reviews, relying only on the ones with some real meat to them. Ready to write better reviews? Then keep reading