Why I’m Alone

“Cause I’m a fucking mess sometimes, but still I could always be whatever you wanted, but not what you needed, especially when you’ve been needing me.”

-Eden, Drugs

In a world where part of being normal seems to require some sort of relationship–romantic or friendly–it’s easy to feel out of place; particularly when so many couples today feel the need to share their entire lives together over Instagram.

*Cue eye-roll

Can you smell the jealousy? Hear the envy in just the writing alone? Of course you can. Because it’s there. It’s not that I don’t want it–it’s that experience has taught me I’m better off without it. As is whatever poor soul that could eventually end up with me.

You’re welcome.

“Cause I have nothing for you; I can’t love when I can’t even love myself.”

Why.

Maybe it’s because I can’t quite be myself.

Can’t really gauge who I am

Maybe I need help

Help that you can’t give

Maybe I can’t let things go

Hanging on to what drags me down slow

Maybe I just like being broke

Maybe I can’t stop looking for the end

Terrified of losing something real

Even before it begins

Afraid of what I may feel

Maybe I know deep down

I can’t give you what you deserve

So I should just leave now

To keep you from getting hurt

“No we’re just having sex, no I could never call this love. Oh no, I think I’m catching feelings I don’t know. If this is everything I feel, just hold on.”

Thanks for reading!

Also, if you haven’t already, please do checkout my Book Trailer: The Author