He's Got My "Not Enough" Covered
by Emily Conrad
Atonement is the word of the day on September 30th, not by my choice, but because that’s the word Dictionary.com chose to email to its word of the day subscribers. I’d signed up only a couple of days before.
When I see atonement in my inbox and leave it, a pin in a thought that’s bowled me over and demands closer examination.
It all started the day before with a simple assignment from Christina Hubbard of the blog Creative and Free. In October, writers celebrate 31 days of writing, and for her part, Christina went out and invited 31 creatives to join her on her blog with the mission of encouraging other creatives. She offered some prompts, the first of which was to share insight to bolster and heal when we feel like we aren’t enough.
On September 29th, when I sat at my laptop to put together my 3-4 sentence response, I was emotionally pretty normal-okay. I put my fingers to the keys without thinking too hard and let two sentences rise:
There are days when I am certain the words I write reek of my imperfections. I look at them and wonder how God could ever use such a tainted offering.
And just like that, I had myself in tears.
This is not normal for me. I've heard other novelists cry when they write sad scenes, but I'm don't think I ever have. In my non-fiction, should I write something about myself, something so true it prompts tears, it's usually in my journal, and not for a blog. But this assignment was specifically for sharing, and hey, the assignment said to be vulnerable.
Until that moment, I hadn’t realized my fear of not being enough went so deep. I decided I had to stop to investigate, I had to finish the assignment. Maybe I wouldn't be ready to share the result, maybe I'd have to start over, but I had to watch it play out on the page. So, I continued.
Read more »
Atonement is the word of the day on September 30th, not by my choice, but because that’s the word Dictionary.com chose to email to its word of the day subscribers. I’d signed up only a couple of days before.
When I see atonement in my inbox and leave it, a pin in a thought that’s bowled me over and demands closer examination.
It all started the day before with a simple assignment from Christina Hubbard of the blog Creative and Free. In October, writers celebrate 31 days of writing, and for her part, Christina went out and invited 31 creatives to join her on her blog with the mission of encouraging other creatives. She offered some prompts, the first of which was to share insight to bolster and heal when we feel like we aren’t enough.
On September 29th, when I sat at my laptop to put together my 3-4 sentence response, I was emotionally pretty normal-okay. I put my fingers to the keys without thinking too hard and let two sentences rise:
There are days when I am certain the words I write reek of my imperfections. I look at them and wonder how God could ever use such a tainted offering.
And just like that, I had myself in tears.
This is not normal for me. I've heard other novelists cry when they write sad scenes, but I'm don't think I ever have. In my non-fiction, should I write something about myself, something so true it prompts tears, it's usually in my journal, and not for a blog. But this assignment was specifically for sharing, and hey, the assignment said to be vulnerable.
Until that moment, I hadn’t realized my fear of not being enough went so deep. I decided I had to stop to investigate, I had to finish the assignment. Maybe I wouldn't be ready to share the result, maybe I'd have to start over, but I had to watch it play out on the page. So, I continued.
Read more »
No comments have been added yet.
