Big G...Until We Meet Again

I will always remember that he noticed the beauty. His photos bear witness to that. The sunlight filtering through the branches of the trees. The sparkling waters of the Little Manistee River, the fish running upstream or downstream or whatever it is that fish do. The spectacular everyday gift of the sunrise, the subdued beauty of every sunset. He loved his life. He was present.

He was, and will continue to be, so much a part of so many people.

A son. He loved his momma and missed his dad. Spent precious time with them on the water's edge, and marveled at God's gift of the world. He knew where he began.

A proud father who loved his kids with the daddy part of his whole heart, and an even prouder grandpa...the precious lives that were so special to him...a small child held high, captured in strong arms..."I'm right here, you're safe with me."  The way it is supposed to be.

A big brother. Dependable. Always there. Ups and downs. Laughter and tears. I can imagine the memories that will bubble to the surface, unique only to siblings, childhood stories embellished or softened by time.

Most of all, a husband....so in love with his wife. Inseparable, one heart, best friends and confidantes. His 'ying' to her 'yang.' If she reached for something in the kitchen, he was already handing it to her. His eyes would follow her across a crowded room, quietly searching for a glimpse, and only then, a slight nod...yes, all is right with the world...he could go on about the business of the day. This, I was witness to. Ordinary. Spectacular. A soft touch, a whispered word, a shared joke, a bond that will never be broken. Husband.

My cousin Gary was a gentle man. He could make a strong point with a soft-spoken phrase. A sense of humor and quick wit. When he entered a room, he carried with him a calming presence. If he ever raised his voice, I never heard it...perhaps his children could better speak to that.

It's hard to understand why things like this happen. It's hard to find words for feelings that threaten to overwhelm. You don't even know what you need, or what to ask for. Peace?...Solace?...Comfort? Sometimes, in your grief, you just have to let your unspoken thoughts flow up to heaven without forming a prayer...God, please...

I've looked, again and again, at all the pictures he posted, and read the words he wrote to capture what he was feeling as he snapped each photo. His clever, witty comments. What I've come away with is a comfort of sorts. Here was a man at peace with himself, his life, his love. Sweet, funny, and sometimes philosophical, he noticed the beauty. And he honored it. 

Even now, I imagine that somewhere in heaven, there is a gentle, burly man wearing a wide brimmed hat, scanning the earth, searching, and then nodding his head ever so slightly before he turns to carry on with the business of the day. 

Husband, son, father, grandfather, brother, uncle, nephew, cousin, friend. Beloved. We will miss you more than I could ever hope to find words for here. There will always be just one more thing we wish we would have said to you. But I know that you can hear us now. We are grateful for you, that you celebrated your life with us, that you loved us, you saw us, and even more grateful that you leave a part of yourself with us, that you will never really be too far away.

We love you Big G.

Until we meet again.

Debbie

"I will not forget you...I have held you in the palm of my hand." Isaiah 49:15