The Fiver | Implementing a two-for-one discount across his agricultural-produce range

In today’s Fiver: Dr Arsène, tiny coffees and getting knacked while celebrating

It’s more than two decades since a stranger arrived in the north of London Town, pulled up his wagon outside Highbury Stadium, and started to shift bottles of Dr Arsène’s Amazing Restorative Hydrogen-and-Oxygen-Flavored Polar Inorganic Compound™ from the back. As he launched into his sales spiel – “It’s the taste!” – suggestible members of the local soccer team gathered round to sample the miracle elixir. “Coo!” they thought as they began to feel some strength return to their legs, their temples started throbbing a little less alarmingly, and that strange dull stabbing sensation in their side went away. As they cheerfully emptied their pockets to purchase as many bottles of the magical liniment as they could afford, Dr Arsène gathered up the falling coins and quietly asked his assistant to dig out his old rainmaking kit, and maybe mark up that old crate of broccoli by 400% while he was at it.

Related: Arsène Wenger: 20 years at Arsenal – an incredible journey of joy and frustration | Amy Lawrence

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