Update

I'm in stasis. The stent comes out on Thursday at the doctor's office.  They insert a scope with local anesthetic and pull it out.  I get panicky every time I think about it.  My hands were shaking as I typed those words, in fact.  The medications I'm on dry my mouth out.  The stent drags at me.  Constant pain in the bathroom, more blood.  I have zero energy, and I'm often light-headed.  I can't be on my feet for more than a few minutes at a time.  I honestly don't know how I'm going to cope this week at work. 

Every teacher at Wherever has to chaperone at least one after-school event as part of the contract.  Before the kidney stones slammed me, I had signed up to chaperone the freshman fall dance, which was last Friday.  I thought about backing out, but it was only two hours in the evening, so I went.  It was a mistake.  I got through the event (Darwin came, too), but I was exhausted when I got home, and all the next day too.

I'm not sleeping well.  My mind goes back to everything that happened at the hospital and everything that's coming up--the stent coming out, more lithotripsy for my other kidney (which means more general anesthetic), probably another stent on the other side afterward.  I panic, and I don't know how to stop.  Darwin is here with me, but doesn't know what to do other than reassure me that it'll get better.

I've done a lot of reading on stents, the related medications, and the side-effects, and the symptoms I'm having aren't outside the norm, though they're on the outer edge.  I'm not in danger.  But my body tells me I am, and it makes me panic easily.  I'm trying to tell myself that I could be in Houston or Puerto Rico, and after a day there, I'd be glad to return to my current problem.  It doesn't help much.

I finally called around and found a counselor. I have an appointment with him on Tuesday, two days before the stent comes out (and there my hands are shaking again).  I don't know how I'll cope through Thursday, but I don't have much choice.

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