Coming Out From Under the Covers
Is it safe to come out now? Am I the only one who has been emotionally whipped by long weeks of astrological, solar, moon and weather-related terrors that I have felt all the way to my bones? If so, that’s OK. Somehow, I think other people have similar feelings at times like these.
I was always the family scare-dy cat. My earliest memories are of things that scared me. It’s over sixty years later. Have I learned anything?
You bet I have.
I’m a writer with an over-the-top imagination that lets me play the ‘what’s the worst thing that could possibly happen?’ game. I have dreams that I think would make Alfred Hitchcock roll over in his grave.
For a fiction writer, an active imagination is an essential tool. But, if it turns on you and begins to affect your real life, you need some tools to deal with it–in case it thinks it has an upper hand. In case it thinks it’s stronger than you are. We should talk with Stephen King.
I have learned that it’s OK to be afraid. I don’t like how it feels, but it keeps me humble and compassionate, even if I’m the only one who can’t finish watching ‘Downton Abbey’ because I just know creepy things are going to happen now that Matthew and Mary are married.
Fear often reflects a deep-seated desire. The more afraid I am of something that I truly want to achieve, the more I recognize it as important to my soul. Therefore, I lean toward my dreams even though I know how prone I am to shut my fingers in the door if something looks like it’s going to fail.
I also know for sure that sometimes my fear is a leading indicator that something is too big for where I am right now or the timing is off; or no one is showing up to support or assist. Activities that sound marvelous in my dream world but don’t make sense when I ask the serious questions such as, ‘Is this MY work’? ‘Does this fulfill my soul purpose?’
When your mind is full of ideas it’s easy to think that you’re supposed to fulfill all of them. I’ve learned that’s a merry-go-round that will wear you down if you don’t get off.
Life supports our true purpose (which often doesn’t look like a purpose at all because it’s so comfortable, so we get can get disappointed). One thing I’ve learned to do is to ask myself: “If I don’t realize this dream in my lifetime, who will it impact?” Most of the time, it’s just me thinking that if I don’t leap a tall building in a single bound and save the world, my life will have been meaningless. Poppycock.
When I was a child I wanted to be Miss America and the first woman president of the United States. Now, I’m so glad some dreams don’t come true and that others come along to replace them—like fulfilling my undending desire to sit on the deck at home with my husband by my side and a glass of wine for each of us.
Becoming comfortable with contentment,
Vivian!
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