Hello, How Am I Doing

Hello, How Am I Doing
by Gabe Redel

If I talked to myself, face to face,
as if the present me walked into my life today,
I would judge him in every way possible.
I would examine myself as if I were on trial
as one who sees another for the first time.

And, because I can be somewhat arrogant,
I’m sure I would be pretty damn impressed with myself.
Unwarranted enthusiasm, of course, but on the other hand,
I know that I would also hate
much of what I said and how I acted.
Unwarranted criticism, no doubt,
but there is much in me that I would like to change.
There is, however, a chance that I would not need to change a lot.
I am not sure, and that’s why I would love
to see and hear myself as one who stands next to me.

If I were to talk to myself
in the future,
I would first see if I looked healthy.
I would then ask him
if he was feeling well.
I would want to know if his body
was falling apart like my dad’s body
had fallen apart.

Then I would let him speak.
I would let him tell me anything
that he saw fit,
and I know myself.
I would have much that I would want to say,
but I would only speak what was truly necessary
because I feel like
that I may not be qualified to give myself guidance.
So I would think about God
and decide if God would want me to have known more.

If I went back to the past,
I know exactly what I would say.
I would not tell myself to love others more,
because that had always been important to me.
I would not beg myself
to get a better education
so that I could be richer when I get back
to my timeline.
I would give the boy a hug,
and I would tell him that I loved him.
I would ask him if he needed any help.
And every question that he had,
I would do my best to answer it.