Darling, You Can’t Do Both… -Book Review
This week’s post is my review of the amazing book: ‘Darling, You Can’t Do Both..’ TO be honest, it is more a list (what else!) of all the wonderful nuggets I gleaned, the points that made me ponder long and hard and the wonderful resources I learned.
This book was on my Books by Women on Leadership List. I mean to reorder my list after I finish all those 25 books, based on how useful and impactful I found them. As of now, I am sure that this book will surely lead the pack then.Without further ado, here goes:
Books:
One of the best parts about this book was in how it added to my reading list. I am intrigued about the following books after learning about them in this book. The list of books is:
Pick Me
Games mother never taught you
Through the Labyrinth
Business networking and sex [Definitely not what it sounds like!]
Sites:
This book is practically a treasure trove of information and resources. The following are sites that everyone should look at and book mark:
Ihaveanidea.org [team now on hiatus, archives available]
Insights/ Ideas:
Better done than perfect – Act now. Complete the task. Then perfect it. Like agile fans say, get it out of the door, perfect it in the next iteration.
Pick your pond and splash vigorously
LIFE’S A JUGGLING ACT AND SOMETIMES YOU DROP A BALL. I have to add these in capitals because most women, including me, are guilty of wanting to have it all, at the same time, without a break or help. WRONG!! read the related chapter. It’s poignant and practical.
“Mentoring is a way of using someone’s hindsight as your foresight.” I loved this quote- such an eye opener. This is why everyone needs a mentor.
From Guardian’s Allyson Zimmermann: “Mentors are career developers and sponsors are career accelerators”. The book devotes an entire chapter to explaining the difference and importance for mentors and sponsors, how to get more than one, and why you need both.
Selfish Mentoring– this book also touches upon how to become a mentor and why it is so immensely significant for careers. The term ‘selfish mentoring’ is testament to how the act of mentoring is beneficial to mentor and mentee.
Minute mentoring – another fascinating concept that I regard as highly apt in today’s complicated, distracted world with its frantic pace.
Create a Personal Advisory Board. Support groups, cheerleaders, call it what you may. We all need people who inspire and support and with a whole chapter devoted to how one can create a board of life/ career advisors is a treat indeed.
Don’t ask, don’t get . Like my Mom says, ‘Never lack for something because of the lack of asking’. Difficult to practice, but extremely effective.
Men’s tactics : start high and come down if necessary. This corollary to the above tip should be taught to every female on the planet. This also happens to be similar to another of my mom’s oft-repeated quotes: ‘Shoot for the Stars. Even if you reach the sky, you Soared! Not Bad!’
Tell a better story. I loved how the book guides readers to learn a variety of ways to make their case. Data, presentations, rational thoughts, logical arrangement of perspectives, social proof, backing of others- basically, using techniques to convince but adapted to the situation and audience. Extra work, I know. But it completely sets aside any shades of ’emotions’ or ‘intuition’ or ‘drama’ that often creep into perceptions of women’s stance or opinions.
Ask how to make a No a Yes. Another ‘Wow’ idea for me. In a coincidental turn of events, I even found a quote by Former President of India, also, a space scientist, that goes: ‘NO means Next Opportunity‘. It totally shifts the focus away from rejections, which is what a ‘NO’ usually signifies for me to an action I can take. [How about you?]
Don’t commit Yes-icide. Definitely something I need to start pronto. [Mom, if you’re reading this, you too!]
Risk reframe. I found the concept of altering the perspective of risk extremely interesting and helpful.
Networking is important. We all know this. But this book will completely drill the fact into your head.
Go where the bigwigs are and Learn to accept No. Coupled with the idea of BE SOMEONE BIG PEOPLE WON’T BLOW OFF, this is another reason why every girl should read this book.
I thoroughly enjoyed the book. No, I was wowed by this book. Relevant and inspiring, this is a must read for every girl and I sure can’t wait for the day I gift it to my little angel. [Too bad she can’t read fully yet! 
