BSNYC Friday No Quiz But Don't Get Complacent Because I'm Liable To Spring One On You at Any Time

It's Friday, and as usual my latest Outside column is gestating inside whatever magic machine they have that puts it onto the Internet.  Rest assured that as soon as it's rendered I will duly flog it here.  So watch this space:


(When I snap my fingers you will wake up thinking you are Mario Cipollini.)
In the meantime, I'd like to apologize for my extremely poor performance on this morning's mountain bike outing:

I'm like Sean Spicer out here, every line I choose is wrong. pic.twitter.com/P8jpgR2O9b— Bike Snob NYC (@bikesnobnyc) September 15, 2017

(The only thing worse than my choice of line is my choice of jokes.)
Oh, what's that?  You were waiting for me?  Too bad.  As a semi-professional bike blogger I must always heed the Call of the Bicycle.  Also, there's always the Bike Forecast to keep you occupied, and if you don't want to read it because you don't live in New York then that's your own problem, isn't it?

Yes.  Yes it is.

Anyway, I should explain that when I say "poor performance" I don't mean riding slowly.  These days, riding slowly is what I do, and if anything I strive for slowness as it is stately and dignified.  Riding quickly is like shotgunning a fine wine, and I hold those who do so in deep contempt.
No, what I mean by "poor performance" is that I lacked the grace and poise I usually exhibit when riding an all-terrain bicycle.  Indeed, I was putting my foot down out there like this was a command performance of Riverdance:



Oh sure, I can blame the fact I haven't ridden a mountain bike in awhile, or that I was riding someplace I usually don't.  I can even blame the fact that I didn't use a precisely calibrated instrument make sure my #whatpressureyourunning was accurate to five decimal places.  But sometimes--just sometimes--you have to come to terms with the underlying problem:


Which is why I'm going to address the problem by upgrading to a far more expensive bicycle:

Maybe I should get a Farley:

Well la di fricken la: Trek sued over use of Farley name on fat bikes. https://t.co/BiAigBj8t6 pic.twitter.com/OTKjvnLyrX— BRAIN (@BicycleRetailer) September 15, 2017

Always kinda funny when corporate irreverence totally backfires.

Then I could set it up with one of these:

Quantify just how rad you are with the ShredMate | https://t.co/MFW3qgjOj6 pic.twitter.com/fLSN6GUgS4— BikeRadar (@bikeradar) September 15, 2017

Sounds like something you'd keep in the kitchen drawer for making salads.

In any case, by this point we've all got one foot in the weekend so I'll let you go for now, though I'll be popping in again once the Outside thingy is ready.

Enjoy your weekend and ride safe,


--Wildcat Rock Machine