The Weekly Friendship Check In
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On Monday after the stormy winds had blown on by, the phone started to ring.
Friends were “checking in” to make sure we were okay. I am happy to report that everybody here at Casa Dunbar is in one piece. We didn’t even lose power at our house, and we spent the day inside playing SkipBo, watching movies, and eating all the hurricane snacks.
When a weather disaster wakes us up, we tend to remember how precious life really is. I reached out to my cousins (who I only see these days when there is a family funeral), and I did a careful review of my phone contacts after the hurricane to ensure I had not forgotten to check in on anyone. I wanted to make sure everyone was safe, and if anyone needed a place to land, we invited them to our house as we pulled all the food out of the freezer for a hodge podge potluck meal on the fly.
Yes, we love your dog and your children and your dirty laundry. I heard myself say this on the phone to more than one friend. Come on over now. The door’s open.
As I sit here in bed typing this tonight, I wonder why we wait until the roof almost comes off our house to show up for people. I want to be the one who picks up the phone on a sunny day as well as when it rains. I want to be that friend who remembers birthdays and calls to see how you survived your week…. because Mondays are sometimes just as hard as hurricanes.
For the last year, my husband and I have been working with a mentor. Craig encouraged us to pray about what areas in our life we value and want to set as a priority to invest time in cultivating. I chose friendship — because I can’t make it through without my praying friends… and because I think Jesus modeled for us the importance of developing intimate friendships.
Maybe like me, you long to be a better friend, but you just never find time to pick up the phone and call, and then weeks go by before you see someone. I decided I didn’t want to do that anymore. So, here is what I did: I invited my friends to sign up for my weekly check in. On Fridays, I do a short video on my iPhone sharing a high and low for my week, and I text it to several friends. I am also using a wonderful video walkie talkie app called Marco Polo to connect with several friends for this purpose, and one of my friends and I do a daily Marco Polo for accountability where we read the same passage of Scripture and share 1 takeaway.
So, here is my challenge to you: Pray about how you will be a more intentional friend on regular sunny days. Maybe you want to do a weekly check in with a couple of friends. You don’t have to go crazy and do a video like me, but maybe you could send an e-mail or text if that is easier. I personally love the video format because it’s more personal, and my friends who are young moms can watch it at any time. Plus, I hate typing long e-mails!
5 Tips for the Weekly Friendship Check In
Keep it short
If I am texting, I keep the videos under 1 minute. If I am doing a Marco Polo, I shoot for under 5 minutes. The point is to check in, but not to gobble up a big chunk of your friend’s time.
Keep it simple
Use the format that best works for you and your friend. I love Marco Polo, but not all of my friends wanted to download the app, so I am texting with a few friends, and I am using Voxer and What’s App with a friend or two who preferred that medium.
Keep it consistent
You need to check in once a week — unless you actually see that person or meet for coffee (which is even better, but won’t happen as regularly). If my Friday’s are very busy, I will sometimes do the check in on Saturday or Sunday. But, I do a check in once a week without fail.
Keep it positive
The check in is not for whining or for venting. It’s for sharing life and keeping in touch. It’s for encouraging one another. It’s for upholding one another in prayer.
Keep it private
If a friend responds to your weekly check in, what she shares is private and should not be broadcasted to others. I do use the same initial video for several friends, but I respond to each individually. I don’t send the video in a group text unless all of the friends on the text are very comfortable with one another and prefer the group format.
Okay, my friends, this Friday blog post is really my weekly check in with you — my readers. It’s my joy to share with you here in this space. I hope you will let me know in the comments how I may pray for you. It’s late here in Florida, and my hubby is happily snoring in bed beside me as I type this. I am exhausted after a long week of fighting the storm, but I wanted to take a few minutes to let you know that y0u are important to me.
How are you doing? You can leave a comment, or if you are subscriber, just reply to the e-mail in your inbox.
Be blessed, friends. I am thankful for you. Thanks for checking in with me here every week.
Challenge: Take 5 minutes this Friday to make an intentional investment in friendship.
Challenge: Take 5 minutes this Friday to make an intentional investment in friendship.
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