When We Loved

You cornered me with love

a contortion into hate

between what you said

and what you did

who you claimed

and who you were

a chaotic contradiction

out of which I ended up believing

that to control

was to care

and to fear

was to feel

You wielded over me all the power I longed for

through force you shaped my self

while I wished to have a different form

but incapable I gave myself over to you

to make me what I thought was better

but which turned out to be just you,

your image,

your dream

and your ideal

broken imitations

of who I used to be

and corrupted lies

of who I should be

In the end I broke our love

or so you said

yanking at frayed ropes which had bound me

trying to drag me back into your world

as I sought out a new one

I’d like to say the power is mine now,

that my hands took over

but I know that’s not true

over every move I make

lingers your so called love

eager to recount

another cruel fable

of who I used to be

and who I should be

Time stands at my side though

the time I need to forget

and regrow

beyond the chaotic contradiction

of your love