Hire To Write So I Can Ignite!

Some humans really need a kick to the head. Wouldn't hurt the cat any if they fell dead. At least for a few seconds or so. Like Flatliners, you know? I'm not that mean here at my scene.

I need a writer.
I need one quick.
A real nail biter,
Who can write some slick.

I have an college essay due.
I can't get it done.
I'll pay you $5 too.
Doesn't it sound fun?

I have entry papers.
I really want to get in.
We aren't committing capers.
I just want to give being a Dr. a spin.

I need my thesis written.
It must be well researched.
I'll buy you a kitten,
Or a bird to be perched.

I have a paper due.
It's all about me.
I would like to hire you,
To make it come to be.

There is a second one.
It's on my personal thoughts.
Can you give it a run?
I bet when writing my thoughts you have lots.

I have a personal experience book.
It must be written grand.
Won't you write it at your nook?
I'll then sell it across the land.

My memoirs need to be written.
They are totally fake.
But fans will be smitten.
Care to partake?

My personal blog needs a writer.
Can you post each day?
Maybe even pull an all nighter.
I'll give 50 cents as pay.

I need a writer fast.
This job would last.
It will be a blast.
But first sign a waiver as you aren't part of the cast.

Now don't you want to go and write personal stuff for some nut? Doesn't that sound like a fun rut? Who wouldn't want a Dr. that can't write their own thoughts? I mean, I'd really really trust them lots. Pfffffft to such lazy sobs at any sea. On them I'd like to take a pee. Whole new level to dog ate my homework as they hire writers to forgo that perk. Some people also actually help it come to pass. Those are graduates that are scary to my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.