First Days

I dropped the girl off to her first day of school today and we spent a little time standing together on the blacktop trying to figure out if that was the place we were supposed to be standing.

This standing around in discomfort, this feeling of not knowing how things work, of not knowing anybody - it’s one of those things that you get better at, I guess.  Sometimes I’ll get to my show a little early and scan the people waiting at the bar - oh there’s that one dude I sort of know and oh yeah, she was a student of mine a bit ago, what’s her name?  A lot of times after going through that, I just stand around and wait for someone I really know to show up.  I think that means I’ll pick awkward standing around over awkward small talk most days.

I’ve sat around like that in waiting rooms at doctor’s offices.  I’ve sat around like that waiting for auditions.  I’ve sat around like that when my phone dies.

But standing there with my daughter, I was happy to be able to be with her, be a companion in the discomfort, in the figuring it out.  I was happy to take the blame when we were told to move to a different area where sixth graders are supposed to be.  

With no discomfort, there’s no discovery.  New stuff gives you the willies and gets you revved up!  The routine’s not set yet, you can’t sleepwalk it - everything’s weird like you’re a tourist in another city.  Getting lost, finding your way - that’s how new things start.

Happy first day of school everybody - I hope it goes well.  I hope it’s a little bewildering.