Dog Days of Summer

​Dear Diary: where did summer go? It's August. How did that happen? July is a beautiful wheel that starts out slowly and somehow magically grows. By the time my garden looks great, the giant wheel of summer crushes it. Teens who were so adorable in June are now hot/bored/overworked/tired. Smoky forest fire air and outdoor swimming led to lung issues. Who knew that was a thing? Smart people, I guess.  And then, dear diary, there's Lucky Dog. He had surgery a couple weeks ago. It was fine. For 2 days. Then Lucky dog turned into a zombie -- panting, pacing, drooling. After a 1:30 in the morning trip to the Vet ER we found out that our dog has a bad reaction to opiates, which is cool because it would stink to have a dog with a drug problem.  
     So he heals. And heels. And all is going well. Diary, you sure as heck know where this is going. Yes, his first walk in our local grade school yard -- safest place in the world, leads to injury as he walks very slowly. Somehow he manages to injure his paw. No big deal. Wrong. 
    Long story short: Dear diary, I have to go right now because I have to slip a plastic bootie on my dog so he can go outside and pee. Seriously. This is my life.
     Which is why I write comedy. Exactly why I write comedy. Because life is funny. Until it's not. 
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    Ellyn Oaksmith is the USA Today bestselling author of the upcoming Chasing Nirvana (Fall 2017,) 50 Acts of Kindness and other books. She lives in Seattle.