Heat Wave

Ep 12 Major Mary Jennings “MJ” Hegar Under Cover Tribute

Heat Wave

I remember watching a Dennis Miller show in the mid-1990s, in which he talked about what we still then referred to as global warming, not climate change. I’m paraphrasing here, but the bit went something like this:

“What’s it going to up, 1 degree? I can live with that,” Miller deadpanned. “Two degrees? Great, I’ll wear shorts more. Three degrees? I look better when I’m tanned.” He went on to talk about how the cavemen didn’t sit around worrying about their future descendent Dennis Miller, any more than he was going to change any of his behaviors so as not to worry about his great-great-great-great-great grandkids dealing with Global Warming.

I disagreed with his cavalier tone back then, but took secret comfort in the notion that I would never have to look in the face of the people in my family tree who would really bear the brunt of climate change, in the unlikely event that the human race decided to ignore its peril. Surely some great-great-great-great grandkid of mine would figure it out.

Raise your hand if you looked in the mirror this morning and saw someone bearing the brunt of climate change.

I highly doubt anyone on the Texas coast impacted by Harvey is reading this post and – if you are – I apologize in advance for not being funny in inverse proportion to the troubles you’re trying to escape, even for just as long as it takes to read a blog post. I owe you.

But if you are one of the many generous people in Texas and beyond who’ve donated your time, talents, and treasure to help those displaced by Harvey, you know you’ve been impacted by climate change already. (Great lists of on-the-ground organizations helping the Texas coast here and here.)

If you are one of the people in the Bay Area whose vast wardrobe of fleece layers were rendered obsolete and, frankly, threatening last weekend when we experienced two days of temperatures over 100 degrees, a situation that drove people to beg @KarlTheFog via Twitter to come back and cool us off (um, that’s not how weather works, people,) or to fill up their flatbed pickup truck beds with water (saw that in the Uptown neighborhood of Oakland Saturday night, mad props for ingenuity) you’ve been impacted.

If you are one of the people in upstate New York who spent the whole gloomy summer of 2017 trying to remember “what is this ‘sun’ of which people speak?” and ordering SAD-light therapy boxes instead of basking in daylight for the non-snow months, you’ve been impacted.

If you’re in Miami (and again, stop reading this and do something more important if you are) seeing Hurricane Irma bear down via satellite images, you’re about to be impacted. Again.

Wherever you live, you know this already: there are things changing in the environment much faster than Dennis Miller or I ever anticipated they would. But scientists had been telling us all along.

(No. I am not going to have the discussion with anyone right now, or ever, that climate change isn’t real, or that it’s irresponsible to tie a specific weather event to climate change. Human behavior has been proven by science to exacerbate the weather extremes to which we are now – RIGHT NOW – subject. The degree to which that is the case doesn’t interest me. So step to the back of the line and stay there.)

Over the weekend, Pope Francis and the head of the Orthodox Christian Church issued a rare, joint appeal to protect the environment. Eco-theology: it’s what’s up in 2017, especially now that CitrusMousseMussolini has withdrawn us from the Paris Accords.

Look, I don’t have an answer for what we’re facing, or even much encouragement. All I can say is that in the face of overwhelming scientific evidence paired with a lack of governmental leadership, we people of Earth still have some power to fix it. Recycle everything you can, and don’t buy stuff to replace it. Keep the A/C off. Walk, don’t drive. Wear your jeans for a year without washing them (it’s what all the handlebar-mustache-hipsters recommend anyway.) Compost. Use a rake instead of a leaf blower, and as a side benefit people may say “Suns out, guns out!” when you wear a sleeveless shirt.

Succumbing to overwhelm is not an option. I think fondly of my hair salon that has a lovely pile of clean washcloths to use after washing your hands in the bathroom, but also a handtowel hanging under a sign that says, “Community Hand Towel. Saving water every way, every day.” Tiny, tiny step to take. Those add up. WE can add up.

And Dennis Miller, wherever you are, may your shorts be irreparably cemented to you with your own flop sweat.

Heard this one in my Lyft on Saturday night…total Cocteau Twins vibe, right? Love you, Texas.