It’s The Way I Tell ‘Em (30)

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More jokes from the Edinburgh Fringe

I’m not a fan of the new pound coin, but then again, I hate all change – Ken Cheng
Trump’s nothing like Hitler. There’s no way he could write a book – Frankie Boyle
I’ve given up asking rhetorical questions. What’s the point? – Alexei Sayle
I’m looking for the girl next door type. I’m just gonna keep moving house till I find her – Lew Fitz
I like to imagine the guy who invented the umbrella was going to call it the ‘brella’. But he hesitated – Andy Field
Combine Harvesters. And you’ll have a really big restaurant – Mark Simmons
I’m rubbish with names. It’s not my fault, it’s a condition. There’s a name for it… – Jimeoin
I have two boys, 5 and 6. We’re no good at naming things in our house – Ed Byrne
I wasn’t particularly close to my dad before he died… which was lucky, because he trod on a land mine – Olaf Falafel
Whenever someone says, ‘I don’t believe in coincidences.’ I say, ‘Oh my God, me neither!’ – Alasdair Beckett-King
A friend tricked me into going to Wimbledon by telling me it was a men’s singles event – Angela Barnes
As a vegan, I think people who sell meat are disgusting; but apparently people who sell fruit and veg are grocer – Adele Cliff
For me dying is a lot like going camping. I don’t want to do it – Phil Wang
I wonder how many chameleons snuck onto the Ark – Adam Hess
I went to a Pretenders gig. It was a tribute act – Tim Vine

Filed under: Humour Tagged: best jokes from Edinburgh Fringe 2017, best one-liners