"Let’s examine that a bit. “Men don’t see dirt the way women do.” That’s a pretty common assertion...."

“Let’s examine that a bit. “Men don’t see dirt the way women do.” That’s a pretty common assertion. And it’s bullshit. Vision problems aside, we’re all seeing the same dirty house; we’re just interpreting it differently. You and your boyfriend both walk in, see the pile of crap on the kitchen counter, and have different reactions to it. You likely think, “Man, that pile of crap is really bugging me. I should really clean it up a little.” He likely sees it and thinks, “Huh. Pile of crap. It’ll get taken care of.”

Why does he think that? Well, because we’re dealing with endless generations of social gender constructs that tell us that taking care of the home is “women’s work.” Whether you or your boyfriend or your parents or your peer group believe these constructs is largely irrelevant, though, because it’s so deeply ingrained in our society that it permeates every level of culture: You see it in TV shows, movies, commercials, in the workplace, in literature, and in almost every facet of life. There’s no escaping it.

So when someone says, “Men don’t see dirt the way women do,” what they’re actually saying is, “Men have been conditioned over generations to process the dirt that they see in a way that requires no further action on their part.” It’s not genetic. It’s learned. And it can be unlearned.”

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Ask UfYH: Don’t Give Me This Whole “Men Don’t See the Mess” Bullshit | Persephone Magazine (via brutereason)

what the fuxk i never realised this
when my apartment is a mess im nearly in tears from being so upset and bothered and whatever male partner is like meh

and i ask them to at least put their trash in the bin cause i dont have the energy to pick up their empty chip bags and soda bottles all day long and they say ok

And then it sits for a week because it doesnt bother them

(via nehaiya)

This even happens between me (a trans guy) and my cis male roommate. to my endless frustration. He’s a great guy otherwise, but he just doesn’t react to disarray the same way I do.

I think part of it is cis men assuming someone else will do it, but that’s not the whole of it. I think they’re not conditioned to view dirt and disarray as something that reflects on their value as a person. Cis men aren’t taught that their value depends on their appeal to others, nor are they taught that the appeal of their home directly affects their own appeal, as well as their perceived effectiveness at their primary social roles.

Meaning that when roomie was living on his own, his apartment was impossible to walk through not because he assumed anyone would fix it for him, but because he didn’t think to prioritize it. Nor, had he through to, did he know how to keep house.

Which is point three. It’s absolutely appalling that boys aren’t taught basic housekeeping, because it gives them an excuse to never try AND it puts them in a very bad position if and when they do live on their own. And housekeeping is more complicated than the general consensus acknowledges. How is someone supposed to know the difference between dish soap and detergent, or what cleaners you shouldn’t use on wood, or on unsealed walls? When are clothes supposed to be washed in hot water versus cold? What does cleaning carpets entail, and how is that different from wood or tile?

So yeah. A lot of cis men just assume a woman will get around to doing it, I’m sure, but that’s not the whole story. Men are conditioned not to feel that uncleanliness reflects heavily upon them and they’re not given the knowledge to keep house when and if they actually realize they need to. Understanding that might be a little more effect than just blaming (cis) men for being, once again, oafish and terrible.

(via somethingtrivial)

I seat an unhealthy percentage of my self-worth in the cleanliness of my baseboards.

(via madmaudlingoes)