One Year Ago: GBE#2 Bloggers

One year ago,

I was sitting as I am here, in my room at night, working on writing something with the intention of publishing it.

If you've read me before, you probably know the story. I went on vacation in May with my daughter. She had me read a YA Book and when I was moved by it, she told me she thought I should write my own.  I graduated school in July, and in August, I had a vaginal reconstruction and hysterectomy.  The surgery marked a new beginning in my life.  But while I was recovering and beginning to write my story, a young man posted on Facebook that he was going to kill himself by jumping off the George Washington Bridge.

His name was Tyler Clementi and he was battling with his sexual orientation. Dharun Ravi, 18, of Plainsboro, and Molly Wei,18, of Princeton, were charged with two counts each of invasion of privacy.  Bullying isn't right. It hurts.  I knew this because I had suffered similar circumstances but fortunately, I made a decision that I wanted to live 1% more than I wanted to die.

It was September 22, 2010.  The students involved were just 18.

My own daughter had just turned 23 on the 17th. In fact, tomorrow is her birthday and she will be 24. I can't believe how fast the time has flown.

Although Tyler wasn't the first facebook suicide note that left me unnerved, I felt like I had something to offer other teens. I knew what sexuality woes were. I knew that if teens continued to keep putting their feet forward, rather than off the bridge, that they too could overcome huge obstacles and become proud adults.

His story impacted my writing tone.  My first draft of the book had been casual, I had left a lot of the rough stuff out. It had been a pretty story, a story that I thought might interest some people.  After Tyler killed himself, I did some soul searching and made a huge decision. I was going to bare my soul. I was going to talk about the rough stuff. My mission had changed from telling my story, to trying to save lives.

My husband and I spoke about it, "I am going to tell all of my story, I shared."

"Are you sure you want to do that," he asked.

"No, I don't want to do it, but I feel compelled to," I replied. "I have been through so much. Most people probably won't even believe that my story is real, but I don't care. Those that have been through the things that I have will know that it is real.  Those that don't understand are not my audience.  Those that are thinking about dying, are."

And so I did it.The book has topics ranging from not getting your period, to masochistic relationships. It chronicles a story of family dysfunction and how the lives of a family are torn apart because of gender development issues.

A year later, there is a new story to tell.

A story of forgiving, healing and family strength. A story of success and positive affirmation. I haven't started writing it yet, but I"m working out the details in my mind.  A new day began about this time One Year Ago.  By last December, I had written, edited sit even times, and submitted Bad Girl Gone Mom to the publisher. It was listed on Amazon.com on December 10, 2010 in Ebook, Hardback and Paperback form.  From marketing materials, to layout, to type, cover and back story there was so much to learn.

Along the way, I have met so many fantastic people.  From the forums at Associated Content/Yahoo!AC, to the Facebook groups that I love, and to the LinkedIn Groups that I hold dear.  Members of each have generously reached out their hands, welcomed me, were patient and answered my questions, taught me the ropes and gave me direction.My real life friends and family have been supportive, and interactive, giving me ideas for stories, reading my work, and referring me to their friends.

I am in such a different place than I was a year ago today, it is hard to believe. I opened my own business in April, and I have been doing consulting work. I am preparing to do inspirational speaking, and am also getting ready to do a webinar to share my experiences.  I've been chronicaling my actions on my website, partly to help me remember, and track what I'm doing and partly to help others benefit by learning from my mistakes.

Life is a Journey, not a destination.

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Me and my mom

Are you living it?  I certainly am.   Sign up on my website for members only info here.

 

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