anti black & white; infused with a strangely disproportionate spectrum of different pink & purple hues

My expectations are not the same as they used to be; they have partially abated.

I don't mean that negatively. I don't feel diminished.

I know that my mind is not perfectly fine for/with everyone/everything.

Certain people turn me on; certain people turn me off.

Different kinds of passion and creativity turn me on a lot.

But more often than not, I don't really know what to expect of people, interactions, and experiences. I often try things, not knowing what might happen next. I don't dive in fully, yet I dive pretty deep.

Sometimes I suddenly sink, sometimes I suddenly rise up, sometimes I alternate between the two – feeling confused, uncertain about what is going on and what might happen next – feeling unsure what SHOULD happen next. Who knows? I don't.

What should I expect? I don't know. I don't have solid expectations. I have floating expectations.

Water color and texture and pressures change. Sometimes I feel like I might be sinking, but I'm not.

Sometimes I feel disappointed, but still unsure.

Sometimes I feel happily delighted, but still unsure.

Almost always unsure about most things, but one thing I do feel pretty sure about.

Almost everything seems prone to solubility.