IN SEARCH OF THE GOLDEN BANANA

"So . . . you spent the entire night riding around on a bus with a bunch of drag queens? . . ."

Eddie nods and wolfs a bite of his Fatburger. It's been a while since our paths have crossed, so we're getting caught up over a couple XLs at the Fatburger over on Flamingo and Rainbow. Eduardo Ramirez-Marin is my good friend: a local artist who -- in the six years I've known him -- has proven to be a lightning rod for attracting oddballs of all sorts. He's telling me the story of how he was recently shanghaied by a busload of drag queens, searching for a mythical gay bar known as, "The Golden Banana." Like the imaginary Tibetan Utopia of Shangri-La (which, ironically, IS a gay bar), The Golden Banana, it would seem, simply doesn't exist -- at least so far as a bus full of gay men dressed like Celine Dion could ascertain.

Now, just to set the record straight (no pun intended), Eddie isn't a gay man. Given this fact, one might logically ask why a man who's not gay, would spend the evening riding around on a bus filled with drag queens searching for a place called "The Golden Banana?" Let's hold that question til the end -- shall we?

Apparently Eddie had been drinking at one of his regular haunts, when the drag queens rolled up in their bus.

"One guy was a dead ringer for Kirstie Alley." Eddie tells me. No doubt.

The queens were a raucus crew and immediately began buying shots for everyone in the establishment. Eddie -- already knee deep in tequila -- was swept up in the revelry. Next thing he knew riding a tour bus with Kirstie Alley: on a quest to find a non-existent gay bar.

The evening soon became a blur; Eddie busting out some of his old dance moves despite a trick knee -- the result of an old football injury (he once tripped over one while half in the bag).

"Man, don't know how many bars we hit . . . we had a blast."

"But no Golden Banana?"

"Nope. Don't think those queens really cared. Just wanted to have a good time -- and we did! Made a few new Facebook friends and even got a commission out of it. Great guys. At the end of the night they dropped me off at the bar where they picked me up."

I look out the window of the Fatburger; the sun slanted low in the desert sky. Another day draws to a close in Sin City. As I attempt to digest Eddie's story along with my burger, I have a sudden epiphany. This isn't just a tale of drag queens in search of a gay bar. No. The Golden Banana is merely a metaphor. A fundamental truth has been revealed unto me . . .

"To travel hopefully is a better thing than to arrive."

We must all learn to travel hopefully. To enjoy the journey -- no matter where it may take us. For what is life but a journey? . . . Even if there is no Golden Banana at the end of the rainbow.


(Check out Eddie's awesome painting "TEQUILA" in my photos!)