Why Heroines? Defining the Heroine in Epic Fantasy

We've come a long way, baby, but why are good heroines still so hard to find?  And how do we, as authors,  write a heroine that speaks true to the reader?
The problem with "traditional"female characters in epic fantasy, as I see it, is that they fall into one ofonly a few roles: the goodly matron, the healer, the love interest, the witch, theprostitute, and the victim.  Sometimesthey fulfill more than one of these roles at a time.  She's a witch AND a goodly matron!  She's the prostitute AND the victim AND thelove interest!  5x bonus for a characterwho manages to meet all of the stereotypes at the same time!  Unfortunately, she doesn't play much of arole beyond that prescribed for her by the genre.  Our "heroine," even when she wields a swordlike a badass, still swoons over our hero and falls apart like bad toilet paperwhenever the going gets tough. 
Heads-up, people: theseare not real women.  In order to write aproper heroine, the author has to respect the characteristics that make womenstrong and use those to advantage instead of trying to force the heroine to occupya stale stereotype or squish into the role traditionally occupied by the hero.
So what, then, defines agreat heroine?
For starters, she's goingto use her words.  A woman's need tocommunicate is generally much stronger than that of her male counterpart.  We talk, and talk, and talk.  We problem solve, talk through trickysituations and share stories.  Thus, evenif our heroine isn't a chatterbox, she will still most likely attempt a littleparley before jumping into that bar fight. She'll try to talk herself out of—or into—a situation.  She'll use words as a delay, as a diversion,as a weapon, or to make up for what she herself may lack in physical strength.
Which leads me to anotherproblem: women are not equal in strength to men.  Yes, I'm going to have my feminist cardrevoked.  But it takes a lot of brutestrength to lift that two-handed broadsword over your head like Conan and splityour enemies in two.  Forensicarchaeology argues that the English archers of Agincourt had such overdevelopedchests and shoulders that their bone structures and musculature were physically altered.  Just to pull the bow those men had to trainfrom an early age, and even then, a particular body type was required or they wouldn't succeed past a certain point.  Unless your heroine has a gym membership and has been working out with her weapon of choice since the age of five, I have a hard time believing that she will ever be able to equal her male counterparts in battle.
So what' s a girl todo?  Pick up a smaller weapon.  A short sword.  A dagger. A small bow and arrow.  Or—my personalfavorite—use her brain.  The brain is anoft-overlooked tool in the sword and sorcery genre (unless it's being used tocast spells or figure out how to bed the hot guy in the party).  In Song and the Sorceress, Ki'leah's memory isthe most sought-after commodity on two continents.  The knowledge she carries is far more important—andmore dangerous—than she realizes.  Learningto use that to her advantage gives her more power than a lifetime of swordlessons could ever do.
Perhaps one of the mostimportant characteristics of a heroine is that she, unlike the lonely hero,thrives with a support network.  A goodheroine realizes she can't get the job done all by herself.  If she's lacking strength, she'll bring themuscle.  Does she need information?  She'll bring a spy, a scholar, a big-assbook.  She's not afraid to delegate or askher friends for help.  Why?  Because that's what strong women do.  Anyone who has ever been to a PTA or a GirlScout convention knows exactly what I'm talking about.  Strong women acknowledge their weaknesses,then find a way to overcome them.  They work together to get the job done.  They also connect, on a much deeper level, with other women, who are always ready tojump in and spackle up the cracks in their friend's emotional armor, buff it, shine it, giveher a hug and send her on her way with a "good luck" and a "don't forget yourgauntlets."  A strong network of friendsand associates is essential for any heroine worth her salt.
Which brings me to mylast point, which is that we seldom see too many of these women in fantasy eventhough we have moved beyond the gold-bikini-as-armor era (thank goodness—it's sounsafe to be fighting naked).  Nevertheless, eventhough one can glance at the SFF section in Barnes & Noble and see rowsupon rows of covers featuring women in tight tank tops and leather jackets,very few of these creatures are actual heroines.  They are simply male characters who've been dressed up aswomen.  These girls act like men, thinklike men, ride Harleys like men, fight like men, have sex like men.  They don't act like real women at all.  And while we women can pretend that we'remaking all kinds of progress in the genre, the reality is that those coversaren't so far after all from the gold-bikini-armored warriors that made BorisVallejo famous. 
The best way I've foundto tackle the problem is to just keep writing the kind of heroines Iadmire.  Women who have dreams, hopes,fears, friends, enemies, brains, and wit. Women who care deeply for their families and would do anything to help afriend, even if it means giving an edge to the enemy.  Women who laugh, cry, make mistakes, thenproblem solve ways to fix them.  Womenwho need men as companions, as friends, as lovers, but who don't need to berescued.  Women with depth of character,spirit, and passion.  These are realwomen; these are the true heroines of fantasy.
Now, speak: what do you all think?
Kim Vandervort