Age Is Not Just a Number

Well, that's what a judge once told me. That was many moons ago and I learned that no matter how many babies a girl has, I was statutorily required to check ids. Next thing I knew I had been in all fifty states without ever leaving my car or bedroom. I'd like to explain further my belief that laws often contradict science, and at make love a crime. But I fear even if I wrote a War and Peace length exposition, with all the nuanced positions, historical facts and possibly a few cringe-worthy laugh-lines I'd still be misunderstood. I'm not denying that to the casual observer I most likely come off as a perv. Lol, "come off as a perv." Ok, so as I was saying...Now that I'm in my fifties, a hot-young-chick is a woman in her thirties. Putting years behind us is such a strange thought process. Mentally, at times I still feel like an immature doofus. But nowadays the mirror never lies to me,  unlike in the 80s when it would say, "You know you want more coke, Raz."The biggest mind-fuck of my advanced years is when I see someone who looks ancient and then realize that they're my age, or possibly a half decade younger. Trust me, I'm not bitching about getting old. Wait, yes I am!Steve Miller Band: "Dance Dance Dance