What Makes You Happy?

Happy Man
“Tell me all the things that make you happy.” That was Lorna’s question to me at lunch the other day. It was a classic Lorna question…and she has a habit of asking such meaning of life questions at the most inopportune time…in the checkout line at the grocery store, during an intense scene in Game of Thrones, at midnight when she’s just crawling into bed and I’ve been asleep for 3 hours. This seemed another such bit of bad timing because I had just had a dreadful night in what has become a very bad month battling allergies and I was having a severe sleep-deprivation hangover. But much to the surprise of us, I immediately started to rattle off things that made me happy. It became like a reverse Tourette’s Syndrome…every happy thought I uttered gave birth to another.  I might still be there listing things that made me happy if one of those things wasn’t writing and I was beginning to feel anxious about writing these things down before I forgot them all. So I decided to cap my list at a hundred. And may I say, this was not a totally self-indulgent exercise because I realized in doing it how therapeutic it was, not only in a week when I was not feeling well personally, but a week when the world itself truly seems to have fallen off its axis. So I offer my list not so much to put others in awe of my life, but to encourage others to make their own list…kind of a don’t worry be happy exercise. This should not be like a best books I ever read list or the five famous dead people I want to have brunch with. This should just be things that put a smile on your face, a lightness in your heart, or an “Ahhh” on your mind. You’re welcome to prime your pump with my annotated list of 100 things that make me happy…NOT in order of importance…
This table, I said, looking down at the teak table where we had hosted so many guests over the years This view, I said, looking out over the poolThat hummingbird nest, I said, pointing to the nest we had watched being built in spring becoming home to a doting mother who nurtured her baby undeterred by our nearby lunchesThis lunch, I said, looking down at my tuna, tomato, pepita seed saladThat swimming pool…my own private swimming poolSkinny-dippingYou, Lorna…your daily, undiminished beauty and optimismYou, Lorna, at 17Westport summers with Lorna...burgers and onion rings at The Big Top, lasagna at the ArrowOur Westport weddingBecoming the father of daughtersDown on all fours with NicoPlaying catch with BenjaminA text from Avery on the day my mom diedMy relationship with MomFirst trip to Fenway with DadTed Williams at batLuis Tiant on the moundThe Red SoxThe Red Sox ReaderHoughton Mifflin hosting the family at Fenway in its company boxNew England roots…family, friends, Ocean Beach, Mark Twain’s HouseMark TwainBeaches…Hawk’s Nest; Carlsbad Beach; Numana, ItalyItaly…Sardinia, Sicily, Pompeii, The ParodisSkyping with Manu and familyCooking and feasting with my brothersBread and wineCleaning up the kitchen Big Chill style to classic rock…Dion, the Everly Brothers, Beatles, Dusty Springfield, MotownGreat songwriters…Joni Mitchell, Randy Newman, Paul Simon, LeonardCohen, Lennon & McCartneyDylan…the great good fortune of living in his timeLorna singing along to Linda RonstadtMy weekend-long Pandora groove: La Ronstadt, Adele, KD Lang, Joanie Baez, Eva Cassidy, Bonnie Raitt, Amy Winehouse, Van the ManSeeing Janis Joplin in concertSeeing Tina Turner in concert (on the night Janis died, alas)Springsteen’s great, incomparable "Tunnel of Love" ConcertScapbook I made of photos and Springsteen lyrics for DadArchive photos and videosMaking iMovies with my own soundtracksMy record collectionOld friends…Van Nuys, T.O., PSR (The Dan & Dave Show), GIA Older friends…EHS,UH, LHS (Church Street)A day at Mystic Seaport with Linda GademanThe Virgin Missile CrisisOldest friends…decades old (Joanne, John, Mike)Playing touch, softball, hockey and Ice Ball (!) with students and fellow teachers from LHSCatching fly balls on the runIce skating on Canaan Street LakeLiving on Canaan Street Lake..mowing all that grass, raking all those leaves, shoveling all that snowThat New Year’s full moon night on the lake with Bill & BettyVirtual friendships that nourish & flourish Virtual friendships that become real…Miguel, Andy, Kent, KimSmall world stories (new one just yesterday...blog post to come!)The Nobby Works…blogging Surfing the InternetFlying business classAll our travels togetherDavid Byrne dancingPicnickingWalking in the hillsWatching the Patriots (even 18-1 the 1 makes me smile…ruefully)Napping to the sound of our wind chime (thank you, Eileen McDargh)Sitting in the pergola taking in the view and the ocean breezeSnowcap views to the north…ocean views to the westGuilty pleasure—watching sun go down at the beach with Lorna, white wine and box of chicken tendersCappuccino in the morningPoetry…Billy Collins, "I am Not Italian", sent by Bruce MacLaren…to savor "the bitterness of its brevity"Reading…fiction and non-John Fowles…The Magus, Daniel, The French Lieutenant’s WomanReuben’s naked womenLunches with women (Angela, Kimberly, Sharon, Jana…)Mythology…Dionysus…Genesis…Matthew: 6Joseph Campbell’s workNorman O. Brown work…Love’s BodySpinelliGame of ThronesPeak TV…HBOThe SimpsonsMLB Net...Sox games for West Coast ex-patsMovies by the thousands, but always certain to make me laugh:Charles Grodin in Heartbreak KidSarah Jessica Parker in LA StoryAlbert Brooks in Lost in America & Modern Romance“I was born a poor young black boy”—Steve Martin“Serpentine…serpentine…”James Franco/Seth Rogen buddy comediesMaking and eating spinach pie every February 19Picking fresh fennel for fav recipes every springMeagan’s voicePlaying Sharkman in the pool with Dylan RileyHome schooling Gillian…the long, glorious epilogWritingRandom, sporadic responses to something I wrote from unexpected, often unknown sources (but always Samantha and Beryl)The room we never use when we doMy iPadSan Diego weatherFather’s Day calls every year from Andy McRoryBirthday wishes every year from Patricia Heller, who sat next to me in 9th grade homeroomTexted videos of NicoWoodsum family reunionsReale family reunionsThis house in all its splendorLorna's touches inside and out
MarleyA remarkably good life on balanceThe First Amendment--no, seriously it is a source of happiness; it protects the books I like to read, the movies I like to watch, the music I like to listen to, the things I like to write--so to be clear, what’s happening in Charlottesville, Virginia, right now is not an expression of the First Amendment; it is an overt threat to it.

And there you have it…if Lorna should ask what things make me unhappy, there’s the first item on my list.