It's a story, not a brand

I tweeted yesterday about plans to make a "ultra-modern" Oliver Twist, called Olivia Twisted, because someone thought that was clever. Here is the premise, as explained by the AV Club:

will star Twilight's Ashley Greene as a 19-year-old girl who falls in with a group of "highly-trained, orphaned street urchins," despite the fact that 19 is plenty old enough to be living on her own and becoming a responsible member of society, rather than consorting with urchins, trained or otherwise. Regardless, she does, and after a "kidnapping job" gone awry, she and her urchin friends soon find themselves in the middle of a gang war. According to Variety, the film will boast a "unique gothic backdrop" and "classic Dickensian elements,"

Now, I know 'plans made to make stupid movie' ranks up there with 'building did not burn down' in terms of surprising news, but I think this more than just another bout of remakeitis. It reminded me of the execrable Jack Black Gulliver's Travels, a crime against literature and God. It's not just that they murder the source material; I think they are completely uninterested in the books. All they want is the name, because they know people will recognize 'Oliver Twist' and 'Gulliver's Travel's,' and they think they can fill that shell with whatever junk will most appeal to their 'key demos.' To them, Oliver Twist is just a recognized brand, nothing more.

The next iteration of Dickens' story will probably be another musical, but this time set in a high school with the young urchin hunting the undead while trying to win the school talent contest.