Why Do Men Cheat?
Why do men cheat? That is the age-old question, I know. It's probably not even worth a blog entry. But indulge me, if you will. I feel the need to express my thoughts because I simply find the topic noteworthy right now with all the cheating going on in the world.
Someone recently told me that ignorance is bliss when it comes to cheating… yes, I'm quite certain that ignorance is bliss because it can't be any damn fun when you learn that your boyfriend has cheated on you or, hypothetically speaking, was cheating on his ex-girlfriend when he started dating you, or hypothetically speaking, worse even than that, was cheating on someone else before his ex-ex-girlfriend!
What a tangled web we weave when first we learn to deceive.
So, I'm writing this to understand it. I want to know – because I am truly confused, baffled even – why in the world a man would cheat on a great woman. (I refer to the woman as "great" because, let's face it, when a man cheats on a woman, the story always follows that she, the woman, was undoubtedly great.)
I've heard several answers to the question… They (the famous "they") say that there is a "cheating gene." I just don't know about that. I mean, really, how can someone be predisposed to cheat? No, it can't be that. "They" must be talking figuratively. In other words, cheaters and non-cheaters are separated by something specific, a character trait, dividing those who are faithful from those who are disloyal. But what is this trait that makes a man cheat? And, more important, how does a man obtain it?
I think it's quite obvious what trait makes a man cheat. A few adjectives come to mind. I'll start with the down-and-dirty ones:
jerk, loser,
a**hole,
meanie,
horrible horrible person,
the list is really endless.
Now on to the actual words for a cheater according to Webster's American dictionary:
deceitful, double-dealing,
two-timing,
false,
treacherous (that one almost makes cheating sound sophisticated!),
faithless.
Faithless is my favorite because it sums a cheater up: I mean, really, what do you believe in if you cheat?
If you cheat, you have no faith in humanity so you don't believe in anything. A cheater believes in nothing (except himself, of course). So, that must be the trait, the gene if you scientists will insist, that makes a man cheat – you believe in nothing. You are faithless.
How you obtain faithlessness must come from the people surrounding you from an early age and up. If you see cheating enough, you think it is okay. Or perhaps you cheat to get back at the idea of someone who has hurt you in the past. Either way, you obtain the cheating trait (a.k.a. faithlessness) from a very, very dark place, the depths of a person's soul really.
More complicated than the trait that makes a man cheat and how he obtains it though is the division in labor amongst cheaters. I'll explain.
There are two types:
One man just wants to have sex with tons of women for the heck of it while seriously dating only one;
The other actually wants to have two (or dear gosh three) serious girlfriends at the same time.
The second is far more dangerous. Why? Because he simultaneously proclaims his undying love for two women, making them both feel equally special in his eyes and thus involving their emotions and, worse yet, their soul. I don't think there's anything worse in love than giving your soul to this type of cheater. When you discover the truth (which always comes out thanks to email, hidden cameras, private investigators, and such things), you are forever a tiny bit damaged because that cheater has somehow – even if only in the smallest degree – made you lose your faith in humanity. God, that's terrible, especially if you have a firm belief in humanity.
The stronger your faith in humanity, the more you have to lose…
That is why if I had a choice (and had to choose between the two) I'd rather date a "me caveman" cheater than a deliberate faithless cheater who feels the need to take with him a bunch of sweet souls. Of course, a woman never has the choice. She gives her heart to who she believes in and takes the risk that her lover is neither.
And such is life.
Etc. and so forth.
Anyway, I write this blog for all women who have been cheated (no, this is not for the men who have been cheated on because I'm a woman and can only write what I know). I have already told you that you are "great." But you are more than that. You are stronger, especially if you have learned from your experiences.
Be faithful that faithlessness will be unveiled especially, like I said, with such fabulous investions as email and hidden cameras and private investigators…
And YouTube…
And bloggers...
If you have been cheated on, I hope you are giggling instead of crying right about now! For after what you've been through, you deserve a good laugh!
Onward and forward!
J
Someone recently told me that ignorance is bliss when it comes to cheating… yes, I'm quite certain that ignorance is bliss because it can't be any damn fun when you learn that your boyfriend has cheated on you or, hypothetically speaking, was cheating on his ex-girlfriend when he started dating you, or hypothetically speaking, worse even than that, was cheating on someone else before his ex-ex-girlfriend!
What a tangled web we weave when first we learn to deceive.
So, I'm writing this to understand it. I want to know – because I am truly confused, baffled even – why in the world a man would cheat on a great woman. (I refer to the woman as "great" because, let's face it, when a man cheats on a woman, the story always follows that she, the woman, was undoubtedly great.)
I've heard several answers to the question… They (the famous "they") say that there is a "cheating gene." I just don't know about that. I mean, really, how can someone be predisposed to cheat? No, it can't be that. "They" must be talking figuratively. In other words, cheaters and non-cheaters are separated by something specific, a character trait, dividing those who are faithful from those who are disloyal. But what is this trait that makes a man cheat? And, more important, how does a man obtain it?
I think it's quite obvious what trait makes a man cheat. A few adjectives come to mind. I'll start with the down-and-dirty ones:
jerk, loser,
a**hole,
meanie,
horrible horrible person,
the list is really endless.
Now on to the actual words for a cheater according to Webster's American dictionary:
deceitful, double-dealing,
two-timing,
false,
treacherous (that one almost makes cheating sound sophisticated!),
faithless.
Faithless is my favorite because it sums a cheater up: I mean, really, what do you believe in if you cheat?
If you cheat, you have no faith in humanity so you don't believe in anything. A cheater believes in nothing (except himself, of course). So, that must be the trait, the gene if you scientists will insist, that makes a man cheat – you believe in nothing. You are faithless.
How you obtain faithlessness must come from the people surrounding you from an early age and up. If you see cheating enough, you think it is okay. Or perhaps you cheat to get back at the idea of someone who has hurt you in the past. Either way, you obtain the cheating trait (a.k.a. faithlessness) from a very, very dark place, the depths of a person's soul really.
More complicated than the trait that makes a man cheat and how he obtains it though is the division in labor amongst cheaters. I'll explain.
There are two types:
One man just wants to have sex with tons of women for the heck of it while seriously dating only one;
The other actually wants to have two (or dear gosh three) serious girlfriends at the same time.
The second is far more dangerous. Why? Because he simultaneously proclaims his undying love for two women, making them both feel equally special in his eyes and thus involving their emotions and, worse yet, their soul. I don't think there's anything worse in love than giving your soul to this type of cheater. When you discover the truth (which always comes out thanks to email, hidden cameras, private investigators, and such things), you are forever a tiny bit damaged because that cheater has somehow – even if only in the smallest degree – made you lose your faith in humanity. God, that's terrible, especially if you have a firm belief in humanity.
The stronger your faith in humanity, the more you have to lose…
That is why if I had a choice (and had to choose between the two) I'd rather date a "me caveman" cheater than a deliberate faithless cheater who feels the need to take with him a bunch of sweet souls. Of course, a woman never has the choice. She gives her heart to who she believes in and takes the risk that her lover is neither.
And such is life.
Etc. and so forth.
Anyway, I write this blog for all women who have been cheated (no, this is not for the men who have been cheated on because I'm a woman and can only write what I know). I have already told you that you are "great." But you are more than that. You are stronger, especially if you have learned from your experiences.
Be faithful that faithlessness will be unveiled especially, like I said, with such fabulous investions as email and hidden cameras and private investigators…
And YouTube…
And bloggers...
If you have been cheated on, I hope you are giggling instead of crying right about now! For after what you've been through, you deserve a good laugh!
Onward and forward!
J
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